Grabbing back

This is one of my favorite signs from Los Angeles' 8,000-strong anti-Trump march that I participated in Saturday:

 

Here is another: 

 

And another:

This is me:

 

 

To say that joining in this march was healing is an understatement. Seven of us met at my house to walk down to the Metro (we knew trying to drive and park would be totally impossible) and marched for hours all through downtown LA until we could march no more. Chants included "say it loud and say it clear, immigrants are welcome here!", "my body, my choice!" and "this is what democracy looks like!" It felt so good to move, to sweat, to yell. It was very cathartic. The sense of support from passers by was awesome. I'm going to the march on inaugural weekend in D.C. in January. Already got my hotel room booked. 

All of that was meant to steel me for the next day, Sunday, which was spending the entire day at Disneyland with an old friend who could get us in for free, who is one of those ugly, rabid Trump supporters calling all of us protesters whiny crybabies. Yes. She invited us some weeks ago before the vitriol got really out of hand, and even up until getting in the car to drive down there I was tempted to back out. But if I backed out it would only make me look petty - like I'm letting politics ruin friendships, that I'm putting my needs ahead of my children's, etc. I know she loves me and would never dare talk politics to me to my face. Which she didn't. But I was so tempted to answer one of her stupid "whiny" memes with "you know you're talking about me, right???"

But here's the thing. I know this officially makes me a horrible person, but I could give two fucks about Disneyland. I'm not from CA so I don't share the childhood nostalgia that many of my friends have. To me it's just another stupid overpriced amusement park that you just have to survive for a day so you can go home and lie down. So we survived it. The kids and boyfriend (native Californian) enjoyed it. Everyone got along and everything went smoothly. I simmered my usual boiling cauldron of rage quietly and counted down the minutes until we could get the fuck out of there, I could get some rest, and go tend to the new feminist dancer's private FB group I created so us women in the dance community can speak freely about this election without worrying about ruining business relationships. It's now 160 people strong and everyone's loving it, especially me, since I can now swear and sound irrational and not care about anyone (read: men) taking it as a sign that I'm hysterical and should be ignored. 

I'll be honest with you - I'm totally hating the day-to-day bullshit of parenting right now. I wish I could take comfort in the "normalcy" of raising kids and every day tasks...but all of it just annoys the shit out of me. It's because I've got this bigger cause in my life now - years of heavy activism in my future - and so things like taking out the garbage, cooking and filling sippy cups just seem so stupid and unimportant. I'm so glad I could leave the kids with a nanny all day so I could go protest - made me think of the early suffragetts leaving their children with nannies to go march, probably most often with their husbands' dire disapproval. She will also watch them when I fly to DC in January. 

My bandleader's wife very unexpectedly has become galvanized by this, too. She told me as we marched that after nearly dying of post-childbirth heart failure a few weeks ago she just isn't putting up with any bullshit anymore. Right on!