In other news, I kind of asked a guy on a date last night. Wh-what??? Miss "that's the last thing I'm thinking about, I don't want the trouble, I'm proud to not be a part of the heterosexual military complex," etc etc? Let me explain.
First, the jasmine is blooming all over LA and it is intoxicating. That is enough reason right there. But I'll explain further.
2) my hormones are going nuts, as evidenced by the zits on my chin and strange things coming out of my nether regions the likes of which I have not seen since before I conceived Theo. So this strange impulse is almost entirely (or maybe entirely) to be blamed on this sudden surge of estrogen/testosterone/whateverthefuck
3) talked with a friend of a friend at a party who just had a baby six weeks ago as a single mother (baby daddy not in the picture) and has been going out on dates for weeks. Huh? She showed me her upcoming dates on Tinder of all things - all 40-something dads, nice guys, and really cute, like, just my type. She's been out five times with one of them. Who knew?
4) one of the MCs of my event, an old friend and a quirky bachelor in his fifties who I have never known to have a girlfriend just married a beautiful young woman last weekend. He asked me to sing at his wedding but alas couldn't line up a sitter.
5) two of my closest friends who have been dating for seventeen years just decided to get married, to the astonishment of our entire dance world
6) I started watching Friends to Lovers? on Bravo, kind of a dumb show but an interesting look at what happens when people try to kick their relationships up a notch
7) my love interest just moved to my neighborhood and has his days free so I saw an opportunity and took it
After all this, for the record he said no, haha. Well, what happened was I sent him a text welcoming him to the neighborhood and asked if he'd like to check out a new restaurant on Friday. First I got a text from someone saying this guy has a new number (that's how often I text this guy - never). Then I resent and got this:
"Ugh! Can't join Friday. Still deep into the move. But would love to get lunch once I'm settled in Feb."
So it's kind of a yes and kind of a no, for now. Which is very much like him, since the last time I asked him out ten years ago he kind of said yes and no, too - he wanted to see a movie with me but had already agreed to see it with a mutual friend, could he come, too? So we all saw the movie. Friend zone-!
What do you think? Why did he use the word "love"? That's good, right? But why is he moving on a Friday in the middle of January? I mean, I'm a cute girl, he's a guy, he should drop everything and have lunch with me and my donor-conceived baby, right? Does he sound like he has a girlfriend? Tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car, a-ha, a-ha, a-ha?
I would like it to be known that the above paragraph is entirely tongue-in-cheek. Kind of.
Who is this guy? Oh, just a friend of a friend I've had a crush on for like twenty years because he looks like John Lennon and takes care of his diabetic cats and never has a girlfriend. He's totally emotionally unavailable. Yes, he's the one I declared un-dateable at the beginning of this blog, who callously left me playing Words With Friends with a total stranger when he accidentally gave me the wrong user name. The guy who, as mentioned, brought a friend to our last "date". Who has never expressed the slightest interest in me other than as an acquaintance. That guy.
But he once wrote a screenplay so staggeringly beautiful I still think about it decades later. He moved his sick mother across the country so he could look after her. He babysits my friends' kids and they love him. He's a good guy. I think he just has zero confidence when it comes to women and kind of gave up...much like me.
But since my kids were born I can now say I am a believer in miracles. Can people change their life's path? Absolutely they can. What do I want from him? Do I want him to marry me, be a father to my boys, move into my cramped house? No, hell no. No.
But my hormones were raging and the jasmine was blooming and I felt like asking someone out on a date, so I did.
I'll hit him back up in February when he's "settled". If nothing else I'll have a pleasant lunch with a friend new to the neighborhood. I can live with that.
I can't even muster the gumption to as a mom on a play date & you're asking GUYS out on actual DATES!! Good on you! He sounds like a guy worth the effort, even if you just become friends.
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome! Good for you for asking him. Who knows if he's really just busy or not interested or something else. Doesn't matter. Go ahead and ask him again and if he ends up saying he doesn't want to date you, no harm no foul. Good on you!!! I wish I had even a remote dating interest and I'd do the same.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I think being postponed and demoted from dinner to lunch means you are squarely in the friend zone. But go and have a good time and polish your flirtation skills for use on the next guy!
ReplyDeleteI actually asked him to lunch, not dinner. But that doesn't mean I'm not still in the friend zone. And that's ok.
DeleteIf I was a man, I would consider choice moms not just dateable, but the ideal. Competent, strong, independent - they do it all - they resist pressure to make bad choices - they've had their babies so aren't motivated by a clock - they have careers and heart. They're basically just awesome. So I don't know why single guys don't just flock to them like magnets. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteI agree, he's not desperate to date you. Or else it hasn't occurred to me that you want to date him. So I wouldn't be wildly optimistic that it will turn into more... but I think the awesome thing is that you asked him out! Whatever his response is, that's secondary. There's other guys out there. What with the jasmine blooming and all, maybe you will start noticing other guys. And with Theo getting old enough to leave at night, you might be tripping over guys soon. You are young(ish) and hot and the strong independent mama of two. Awesome!
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