Settling back in

Bumpus had his four month checkup/shots today. It went much like the two month appointment. A lot of waiting around, a lot of "I hate this I hate this I hate this" playing on an endless loop in my brain, the baby turning bright purple and screaming when the shots happened, but then immediately forgetting about it as soon as I picked him up. One more of these two month-spaced appointments, then I don't have to bring him in again until March, then not again for another year. Love that. Even driving down the Kaiser portion of Sunset Blvd gives me anxiety. Reason # 5,486 why I should NOT have another baby.

I have not had a chance to rest since the event. There's a lot to do still - I am making my way through a giant stack of credit card orders (LOTS of declines this year, which sucks), I still have over $10,000 in checks to write and mail, and my dining room is full of boxes that have to be sorted and inventoried before being retired to the shed for another year. I figure it will be another week before I'm even close to wrapping things up.

Unfortunately I have to take Bumpus to the child care place tomorrow night as I have a singing gig; same deal Monday night. I am facing the unpleasant reality that I may have to start enlisting strangers to watch him - I've worn out my favors, my usual sitters aren't always available, and the day will come when it won't be practical to drag him out of bed at night to take him over to the child care place. Everything will change when he has a bed time, doesn't want me to leave him, and isn't as portable as he is now. But I know as with parents in general and single parents in particular, child care is going to continue to be a thorn in my side. If only we could leave little kids at home alone like it's the Depression again!

Bumpus is outgrowing the smaller of his onesies. Today he weighed in at 13 1/2 lbs. He has chunked up quite a bit in the last couple of weeks, and loves to lie on his belly with his head up, just looking around. It's hard to say how well he's sleeping - I know he wakes up a lot, but I long since stopped checking the times when he wakes and now just stick a boob in his mouth while half asleep.

I often wonder if I'm doing him a disservice by not setting up a schedule at this age. I know that he could have a bed time, feeding times, and nap times at this stage...but it's still a bit of a free for all around here. It's mainly because I don't have to set a schedule - there's no work schedule he has to conform to, and it'll be years until he goes to any kind of school. Does he need more structure at four months old?