It’s happening….!

So yesterday as I was driving the kids home from school, I noticed Bobby was wearing this black bracelet that I’d been seeing around the house. “Where did you get that?” I casually asked. “My girlfriend gave it to me.” Theo piped in from the back seat, “oh yeah, Bobby has a girlfriend.”

I’m not ashamed to admit I sputtered like Daffy Duck for a few minutes. How-? When-? And most importantly, who-??? All the while looking at my tiny baby’s goofy grin as he told me some basic details that I only half heard because I was being deafened by the sound of one of my ovaries dying. 

So apparently her name is Jasmeen (I think) and at the end of school last year her friend passed him a note. They still do that??? How charming. He showed me a picture of a cute Asian girl taking a picture of herself in the mirror. He says they mostly just walk around school and talk. He said she plays video games but mostly is “really different”. I’m going to guess not many kids his age listen to Devo, so no surprises there. I said if he ever wanted to take her on a proper date that we’d drop him off and give him money and stuff. And that was pretty much it. Of course I wanted tons of information, but I sensed there wasn’t much to be had. I reiterated my speech about no nudes being asked for nor sent. He said he would never do that. Ok then. 

I asked Theo if kids in his class had boyfriends or girlfriends and he said some, but it’s mostly kids talking about liking each other. I asked if there was anyone he liked and he said no. 

I did not have “Bobby gets a girlfriend” on my fall 2025 bingo card. Neither did I have CK’s killer as most likely doing that because he was in love with a trans person and felt the need to do some grand defensive act, but here we are. I always imagined Bobby as being a late bloomer due to his shyness…but I have to admit, the kid’s got swagger. He just does. My prayer for these boys is that their early relationships, unlike mine, will be devoid of the gut wrenching terror of abandonment that being repeatedly abandoned by both parents causes. May they have normal relationship drama and make good choices, unlike me at that age. 

Just a few days ago Bobby had become obsessed with finding a bag of watch parts I said I had, and so we went through some of my old boxes of childhood stuff. In one I found a long lost wallet, one my mother had made in home ec class in high school in the 50s that I then went on to use in high school in the 80s. In it was a fascinating time capsule - an old subway pass, my Amnesty International card, my church membership card, a pass to the teen club The Saint, and a name tag tagged by a graffiti artist that probably had some significance I no longer remember. As time moves forward, I become more and more disconnected from that girl, even though she’s still me. Will Bobby even remember this first girlfriend when he’s my age? Will he even remember himself? I wonder.