Since B started jr high last summer, the entreaties for a phone have been constant and irritating. The H and I have held out in the belief that phones are bad for kids, and people I respect say “hold out as long as you can”. And I stand by this - I have no regrets not giving Bobby a phone up until this point. But. He’s turning 13 on Monday. Literally everyone he knows has a phone. He’s still nursing his rickety kid’s watch from probably 4th grade (?). I had bought him a refurbished Apple Watch on prime day back in October with the intention of giving it to him on his birthday to at least step up to an actual phone at some point.
But. I went to set it up yesterday, and, surprise, it’s locked by the previous user. Took it to a TMobile store - they said there’s no way to get into the watch; I’d have to return it. Talked to Amazon - they won’t take it back because it’s been too long. Fair enough, although shitty because I spent $200 on something that legitimately can’t be used and never should have been sold, who cares if it’s been a few months?? Whatever. I contacted the business of origin, some family run electronics company in NY. I don’t have high hopes. Left a one star rating. Boy do I wish I’d opened it and tried all this back in October.
But. On the way back from the store I called the H to discuss options, and thankfully he suggested I just give him my old phone, fuck it. What happened was he saw that all the kids at the birthday party last weekend had phones, and realized we were being unreasonable. I’m all about not being that parent that sets up non-sensical arbitrary rules just because. And the fact is, these kids have been terminally online for years (largely at the H’s insistence, as in getting them IPads and then VRs, which they’re on constantly). Bobby’s had a laptop for over a year now, and although I installed parental controls on it, to be honest I don’t have the slightest idea if they’re even set up properly or doing anything at all. Bobby has also had a very old phone of mine in his room that he’s been able to roam the web with freely for years (I gave it to him to listen to music, not realizing he could access the web with it). So…what’s the danger of having a phone, actually? That he can finally fit in with his friends? Text people outside of the family? Ugh, I give up. Just give the kid a phone already. I’ve been paying the extra line for months, and the phone is free.
As I set it up for him, I discovered there’s tons of restrictions I can put on it as his parent anyway, even shutting it down at night and restricting what kind of photos can be sent or received or what kind of websites can be accessed. And he’s going to be soooo happy. I’m excited to give it to him.
I feel like he has the maturity to handle a phone (I would never give one to Theo right now) and is probably way more interested in his VR anyway. Also, the school has enlisted a total phone ban as of a week or two ago, so he can’t get in trouble at school with it. Now I just hope my crappy old phone holds up!
In other news, I’ve done something that’s either the smartest or stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I’m still questioning my sanity about it, so no judgment, please! I’ve signed up for semaglutide pills from an online pharmacy. Gasp!! Why? Well, I’ve been fascinated by these weight loss drugs for years - and was always very curious about them (since results are all over the place). I was waiting to see a) how safe & effective they were over time (it’s been years and we’re not seeing people drop dead or develop tumors!), b) if a pill form would appear, and c) if shortages would end, opening up the market for non-diabetics like me. All of these things have now happened. So I thought…why not? The food noise in my head causing me to compulsively eat when I’m not hungry is intense and never-ending. There aren’t enough hobbies or activities in the world to distract me enough from this. My pattern for years now is to diet for a couple of months, lose most of the weight I want to, and then slowly gain it all back. So every year I spend about two months at a healthy weight and then ten months 5-10 lbs overweight. I’m fucking over it.
If I could predict the outcome of this experiment now, I think what’s most likely to happen is it will make me so horribly nauseated that I’ll quit within days and then spend weeks or months battling with this online company to cancel my subscription. I am terrified of the nausea. I would rather be fat than constantly nauseated, any time. However, I may not feel nauseated at all, it may just be temporary, or may be mild. Who knows? You don’t know until you try it. Also, it may just straight up not work. I have heard people claim that because they already eat when they’re not hungry, the drug making them not hungry doesn’t help. At all. So odds are this will be a spectacular, expensive failure, like the very expensive hair transplant I bought for the H as a wedding present that, in my opinion, did absolutely nothing. But. I’ve been obsessed with the idea of these drugs for years and I just want to try it out. I’m curious to see how, or if, my body responds to these GLP-1 inhibitors. And I do realize once you go off them that you gain all the weight back. But maybe, just maybe, I could lose enough weight and feel so fabulous that I’d be more motivated to keep up good habits…? It’s hard to stay motivated when you starve yourself for months at a time and lose some weight but are still ten pounds heavier than you were five years ago and still can’t fit in to half your closet. I don’t want to be super skinny, but I feel like being 135-140 pounds at 5’4” is a perfectly healthy weight. And it would take nearly a year of intense every day overeating to go from there back to the weight I am now. So, we shall see. I don’t know when I’m actually going to get these drugs - a couple of weeks? - and I want to be feeling good in Hawaii next month, so I probably won’t start for another month, so end of April. Maybe I’ll change my mind before then, or I’ll tell the H and he’ll talk me out of it. But boy does the prospect of possibly losing weight with some assistance, instead of raw dogging it like I do everything in life, sound appealing right now!
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