Getting in the groove

I re-joined the Y last week. I hadn’t been there since a short time before the pandemic shut everything down - I closed my account because I hadn’t been using it enough; little did I know what was coming in just weeks (I feel like every February/early March for a while is going to be full of triggering “little did we know what was about to happen” vibes). Back in the day it had been a perfect place for me and my preschooler (Theo) - free child care for an hour while I worked out. But once both kids were in school it became a needless expense. 

However, years later, things have changed. I desperately need to get active and start building muscle at my age. Also doing the podcast about my former culty religion reminded me how easy it is for me to get disconnected from my body, and I want to change that. I heard once an older lady say that exercise is one thing she never compromises on - that it always takes priority over everything else. I do want to be a healthy older person, who’s strong and capable. So after discovering that my home Y never has any availability in their classes or pool, I decided to look into the newly renovated Hollywood Y. I went there on Tuesday for a yoga class that went well, and did strength training today, which also went well. Unsurprisingly most of the people in the classes were elderly women, so that’s right about my speed.

It’s funny, building new habits. The long drive, the parking, the gym bag, the classroom etiquette - these are all things I way over analyze and stress out about. It’s hard to look at this gym and accept that it has to become your second home; this is a huge new thing in your life. You’re going to spend a lot of time here. Today since I had to kill some time, I brought a full gym bag and showered and enjoyed the sauna for a few minutes. At some point I may look into swimming some laps. On the way home I bought extra toiletries and flip flops and other random things so I don’t have to keep packing and unpacking. I plan to take classes there 2-3 times a week and walk the other days. 

I have no illusions that this will magically make me skinny. I know it won’t. But right now I’m just focusing on building a new habit and re-acquainting myself with my body, building muscle, getting stronger. That’s step one. The weight stuff, the food stuff, I’ll tackle later - preferably once the March gauntlet of three family birthdays and a week in an RV for spring break are behind me. 

I did my taxes yesterday, with good results. I didn’t owe much more than I’d pre-paid, and my accountant gave me a good strategy for a tax shelter that will also double as saving for kids’ college, something I’ve been fretting over for some time. I also got a better picture of what this event actually costs to run (I was shockingly accurate, it turns out). With taxes behind me, I can officially put 2023 to bed. 

2023, honestly, kinda sucked. Remembering the massive amount of stress I had this time last year - our wish to bury our elderly friend with some dignity having gone horribly wrong, the hotel stonewalling me and causing me to do countless hours of research in case I had to move (all fruitless), our desert cabin unfinished and in limbo, my credit card company withholding funds, losing customers over unavailable hotel rooms, slow signups leading me to believe I needed to prepare to be broke again…just too much. Already this year is off to a much better start. Very grateful for that.