The big move

This week we made the big move to the cabin (just stuff, not ourselves, of course). It was a moment I’ve been dreaming of since I first put in an offer on the property in March of 2021. There were many times I thought we’d never get here, between getting ripped off by the first contractor to not being able to find another one for months or years. But this week I was finally able to get a U-Haul and move all the crap I’d been collecting out of the attic, plus unused furniture from the shed, and fill in the gaps at ikea (mattresses, bedding). It was a delicate balance of timing everything just right - picking up the U-Haul, getting movers to help get stuff down our stairs, picking up items at ikea (picking out the bedding took hours and was so ridiculously complicated I thought we were all going to lose our minds), then the H took the U-Haul to Orange County to pick up some water tanks a client had gifted him, while I drove the kids FOUR miserable hours in holiday traffic out to our place. When the H arrived he accidentally backed the U-Haul into soft sand and got stuck, which prompted a crazed attempt at digging/trenching out in the middle of the night and well into the next day, only to give up and hire a tow which cost $350. Then we had a four hour round trip to drop the U-Haul (ah, remote places). Then we had several pieces of furniture to build in two days before it was time to leave. To say it was exhausting was an understatement. I feel like I’ve never been so physically drained in my entire life. Thankfully the H thrives on hard physical labor - and I often thought how I never in a million years would have attempted this as a single woman. I would do other things in the desert - camp, or stay at airbnbs - but not try to have our own place. It’s just too hard. 

The drag was the boys had nothing to do the whole time. They could only be enlisted to help a certain amount; there’s a point at which they get bored or make the task take longer than it should. So even though we brought bags of board games, other than one game of monopoly, they refused to play any of them, instead begging to play on my phone (something I’ve never allowed - until now), tearing the place apart using the new beds as trampolines, throwing stuffed animals at each other, or whining about how bored they are. That part was a misery for me. Since the H was mostly engaged in building things by himself, I was mostly bored along with the kids or cleaning while dealing with the sensory overload of kids whining or screaming and throwing things and making loud explosive noises, all in 200 square feet. 

Why did the kids not play outside or wander and explore, you ask? Because it’s “boring”. I’ve realized kids today, since they have the option of video games somewhere in their life, will never be satisfied with just wandering and exploring like we were, because we had no choice. And I’m sure we did a fair amount of whining, too. I hate that so far nearly all of our trips have been a huge drag for the kids - we’ve always been working on projects out there, mostly ones the kids can’t help with, so they associate the cabin with being bored and being away from their video games. I hate that video games have ruined kids this way, but I suppose TV did the same in the 50s; I imagine parents raised in the 20s and 30s had the same complaint about their baby boomer children - why can’t they just entertain themselves by playing kick the can or whittling a stick like we did? Because there’s something far more interesting out there, and if you withhold it you make your kids out of step with all their peers, and time marches on whether you want it to or not. And so it goes. 

So we had an exhausting, while productive, week, which we all agreed was a success despite the difficulties. Then we had the special Thanksgiving treat I had planned that I was so proud of - dinner at the top of the Palm Springs aerial tramway - the H had wanted to take that tram for ages, and I thought this combo of the tram plus dinner would be magical. Omg did it suck. First, as we were driving to it as the sun was setting, the H bitched endlessly about how pointless it was going to be to ride up in the dark, to the point where I was on the verge of snapping at him - but it turned out he was right; it was pretty pointless to ride up in the dark, after an extremely long wait sitting on the floor in a cramped waiting room. Then we waited on line for what felt like hours in a cramped cafeteria to get our food, then had a horrible panicked fight for tables since there was only seating for about 10% of the people. It was a nightmare. And not surprisingly the food was mediocre at best. Then another loooong wait for the tram back - waaay too much standing for me, I haven’t even recovered from that music festival last weekend - and a blurry drive home after which we all collapsed into our beds. At least we had a good laugh over how awful it was; better in concept. At one point Bobby asked why we can’t have just “normal” Thanksgivings - I told him because what he considers “normal Thanksgiving” involves all the women working their asses off while the men sit around and enjoy themselves, and I’m not doing that anymore. The truth, of course, is a lot more complicated - the fact is I actually enjoy hosting meals for people (as long as someone else does the meat part) and the complicated game of planning and timing all the dishes just right, but sadly I can’t stand the H’s sister and if I host I’d have to invite her, and I just don’t ever want to have to do that again. So, that’s why the years of traveling Thanksgivings. Last year I tried to do a big meal for Christmas, and honestly, that sucked too - nothing I made was really any good, and I can’t stand that heavy American food anyway. But I have to admit, as far as Thanksgivings go, this was by far the worst - productive and important, but a complete bust as far as the actual holiday. Still, at least we had a good laugh about how bad it was. We manage to maintain our sense of humor in these situations. 

Here’s some shots of our place with the furniture in it - our crap is still all over the place so it looks crowded and messy, but eventually we’ll have curtains and things on the walls and it’ll look nice (I hope).