Saturday, January 29, 2022

Mid winter

Today is cold (relatively) and grey (relatively) so I’ve taken up hermiting in my room while the boys play Roblox. I think we’d all agree this is an ideal Saturday.

It was a rough week. No word from old contractor - he’s supposed to be drawing up a contract to pay us back some fraction of the money he owes us, but of course hasn’t done it yet - and, far worse, I got a call from the new contractor who is our neighbor that someone broke into our place and stole our $400 wood burning stove. The old contractor left it out there. And of course with the place not visited for two months, someone was going to break into it. It was an ugly reminder of how dangerous it is out there and how this could be our undoing - that our place could be constantly robbed, and I could get fed up and sell it. All of which was always a possibility, but seems even more so now that it’s started actually happening. I don’t feel good about it. 

I also had a bit of a scare when I got an announcement that an international package had been delivered to me, but never showed up - I thought for sure my wedding dress had gone missing. Thankfully the company in Russia said they hadn’t sent it yet, but it was a tense couple of days before I knew for sure. Who knows what that package actually was. It’s a similar situation to the cabin in the desert - it’s been a fraught ride with this dress, and it’s all taken far too long, and when I actually get it I may not like it and may have to start all over again. 

I got myself completely blocked and paralyzed doing days upon days of research into rental companies for wedding stuff - bathrooms, lighting, staging, backdrops, chairs, tables, place settings, succulent tablescapes, bar set up, etc etc - until I finally begged off and asked the wedding planner to walk through the space again with me, preferably with a rental person in the area, to make a list of exactly what I need, exactly where it’s going to go, measurements, etc etc. I just can’t picture it right now and I desperately need help. So I may drive out there by myself on a weekday and do the final walkthrough for placement. Last time was really just about deciding if the place would even be suitable. As much as I’m scared that time is ticking by - we’re four months away now - I think this meeting is the only way to move forward. 

I took a deep breath and contacted the hotel where I hold my event, just letting them know I’m planning on opening registration on May 1st and am optimistic about this coming year. They enthusiastically responded saying they have recently had a few large scale events that have not become super spreaders and that they’re excited to welcome me back. It’s the first step towards my event this year - although nobody knows it yet, we’re now officially “on”. Honestly, I thought I’d be full of dread at this moment, but I’m actually not. Like it or not, it’s what I do - as natural to me as eating or sleeping or breathing. It’s a scary time and re-entry may be bumpy, but I’m here for it. 




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