First - it was wicked cold. I definitely underestimated how cold it gets out there, especially as the sun goes down. We basically froze our asses off. The house had only space heaters, and one stopped working by our final night. Our first day we spent in the National park, to visit some of the places we hadn’t seen yet, thanks to Bobby’s free fourth grader pass. As always the boys enjoyed rock scrambling. It’s always a bit of a heart stopper to see your kids disappear into boulders - and yet they always manage to materialize (and not fall and hurt themselves).
The next day we saw one venue (raw open desert performance space, definitely not worth the thousands they were charging), then went by the property with the cool art that has not answered our emails, then went by the cabin to assess the land as a wedding venue (also a no - just not pretty enough).
Monday was the day I finally met my wedding planner (nice but spacey Gen Z-er) for a marathon of venue viewings. I realized putting a day like this at the end of an already pretty tiring trip is not a great idea (I believe it was the only day she had free, however). We saw first our boulder gardens place that we love. We definitely saw more potential in it than last time…but also more potential for disaster. As we were driving down the seemingly endless bumpy dirt road to it, I kept picturing our guests and vendors and wondering what they would think - would they hate us? Would it seem worth it once they got there or would they just be thoroughly freaked out and annoyed? What if someone breaks down out there where there’s no cell service? Is this thing that we think is so cool actually just really too far out of everyone’s comfort zone? What if the vendors - mainly our taco truck - inform us halfway there that they don’t think they can make it and have to turn back? All of these thoughts plagued me as we set out for venue #2, the one recommended by our planner and more of a safe bet, with two small houses to stay in and lots of infrastructure. You do, however, still have to bring in bathrooms, generators, and in this case, have people shuttled in, which is a huge headache and expense I was hoping to avoid. But the place is nice and there’s a big hill I can pop over for a “reveal” as I walk in, which is important to me. In this space, our concept of a long camping weekend would be out. We visited a possible camping space after, but decided it was too dystopian (great for us - for others, not so much). So really we’re down to two choices, unless we find others - our hippie bolder place (probably cheaper up front but a lot of work to dress and with lots of scary unknowns), or the second place which would be fine but I’m not sure has the effect we were hoping for. We have to ask ourselves, in making people drive 2 1/2 hours, is this worth it? Or could we just have rented some place in Chatsworth?
Then the F spoke to the old contractor on Saturday - the story is the same; he wants to finish but doesn’t know if he ever can (he had to take a full time job recently), and says he could pay me back but it would have to be monthly small payments. I wish we had just agreed to #2 on the spot, but the F gave him a week to think about it. So now I have to go back to the second guy (who thankfully couldn’t start before then anyway) and fill him in. God I want this resolved - I just hope we can get the new guy on and get the old guy making payments. Even though I can guarantee the payments won’t last long. We also have to decide how much of the remaining work we want done by the new guy and how much we can do ourselves.
I am so completely overwhelmed by big financial life changing decisions right now that I don’t even know what to do with myself. I am utterly drained mentally. For weddings - we have the easy choice that could feel sort of meh, or the awesome choice that could be a disaster. For the cabin, I have to navigate this personnel shift and shell out tons more money while at the same time hoping I can get some back to recoup my losses, plus having to make a million and one decisions on how this place should be built. Oh….it’s a lot.
Add this in to fear of kids being in school and all of us inevitably getting sick. Oy. Although…it may just be wishful thinking and late holiday reporting, but there is a slight chance California’s epic wave is finally rounding the curve. I figure we’ve got maybe only a week or two more of rising numbers even if this isn’t the case. Here’s hoping. Being on constant high alert is doing me in.
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