First week

We’ve survived the first week at school, and, more importantly, the boys’ first weekend alone with daddy.

“Daddy”. The word still sticks in my throat a bit, but it’s a true term at this point - he is their dad. Even if we break up, he will still be their dad. If I die he will take over as parent. He is as invested in their future/happiness/development as I am. That’s a dad.

So I entrusted him with them from Thursday night until Sunday. And, big sigh, everything went just fine. He even didn’t leave the house a mess the way the babysitter does (filthy kitchen floor, toys everywhere, toothpaste all over the sink and towels), which shows that he listens to my gripes. He handled the school drop offs and pick ups ok, although he was late picking up Theo because he thought his pick up time was 2:30 instead of 2:18...which freaked me out until he told me there were other kids still waiting. I think all of us have that image of the scared, forgotten child sitting on the school steps. Thankfully that wasn’t the case here. I’m always so psychotically early for everything that I have no idea what happens after I’m done; how backed up parking gets, how mobbed with all the people who do things at the last minute (which is what most people do). 

I did a gig in Chicago this weekend, which went well - tough travel schedule with a red eye going and one hour’s sleep before heading back yesterday. And today I hit the ground running with just two weeks left until my event and tons of detailed work to do. Then on Thursday we do it all over again as I head to DC for another singing gig.

I still find myself pretty emotional about Theo growing up and all the changes in our lives...my brain is still struggling with all the new information and routines, and the kids are acting out a little which tells me they’re struggling to adjust, too. I wish I could say everything will be normal after my event is over...but it won’t. On the 17th my kitchen gets ripped apart, and I travel two-three weekends out of the month until the end of the year, not to mention a ten day trip to Thailand which I am sorely regretting at this point. If only that were next year and not this year. It’s going to be pretty chaotic until the end of the year.

Neither of the boys want breakfast at school and Theo is in fact not eligible for after school programs, so that’s that. 

Right now I’m treasuring the peace and quiet of a home where children are at school and no contractors are here (yet).