People who need people

I spend far too much time wishing "the kids" were older so we could do more fun stuff. Sometimes when I calculate just how long it's going to be before both children are potty trained, in school, able to travel, able to swim and ski, etc etc, I don't mind admitting I feel a little despair. We're talking probably five-seven years, which puts me at nearly fifty, and my elderly relatives that much older. Will I really still want to go to water parks at 48? Or attack the slopes in Big Bear? I don't know - but I hope so!

I do try every day to appreciate the moment - to appreciate Bumpus at this age and take pleasure in the little joys, while having a sense of humor about the non-joys. I think I'm *pretty* good at that. I may be bored and kind of "blah" some of the time but I am rarely angry or fed up. I remember the days not so long ago when B's kicking me while being changed or flipping around in his carseat while I tried to buckle him in would send me into an absolute rage; now I just take those things in stride, partly because they happen every day, all day long, and partly because I now recognize all kids do these things and it's normal and to be expected. I think I just had a really hard time adjusting from baby-toddler; the idea of a freewheeling active child who could hurt himself, and damage things, really freaked me out and pushed all my buttons. I'm not saying I don't still struggle with these control issues but I'm proud to say I am getting better!

The more B grows and develops, I am SO glad there is a baby brother on the way. He desperately needs playmates, especially when mommy completely sucks in that department. Every time I take him out I see how much he loves people and seeks out other children, especially older boys, to play with. He just runs up and joins their group whether they want him to or not - he is pretty much always shunned by older kids, but thankfully he's too guileless to care. Today he kept trying to engage this older boy who was all wrapped up in his IPhone game (judgment...); finally I just pulled B away because I could tell the other kid was getting annoyed and was about to "do something unpleasant". But this happens a lot - B is very social and just loves people. I'm glad I'm about to provide him with "people" of his very own to play with!