New Year's

This will be the first New Year's in well over a decade that I have zero plans. Part of me hates it...and part of me doesn't care. Being in a swing band means we pretty much always have a gig (the rest of the band is in North Carolina right now - as I was, with them, two years ago, remember?), and before there was a band there was always something dance-related going on. I discovered today that the Baby Kennel is not only open on New Year's but open until 2 AM (how awesome is this place?). So if I really wanted to go out and celebrate, I could. But...I don't want to.

I never drink even when not pregnant, and I absolutely loathe being around drunk people. I also am afraid to be out on the road with said drunk people. And unfortunately for everyone else but fortunately for me, there just isn't that much going on locally. So at least there isn't some awesome event going on I have to miss. But still. I won't lie when I say it's going to sting a little to be all alone at home on NYE with not even Bumpus to keep me company, since he'll have been asleep for six hours by the time the year changes. 

It's moments like these I always have to ask myself, well, what else would you be doing? How were New Year's Eves in the past? Well, the past couple were good because I had gigs and had a baby or was pregnant. But before that...meh. A little too sober and a little too reflective. Never anyone to kiss - ever. For the past ten years, except for the last two, nothing but a sinking feeling of yet another year not in a relationship, watching everyone else get married and have kids, blah blah blah. Does any 30-something single childless woman feel anything other than despair on New Year's Eve? 

So yeah, an evening on the couch alone but with a roaring fire, a nice cup of tea, and one baby asleep in the room next door and another asleep in my belly doesn't sound half bad.