As to the food, I have to admit I was a bit stung by one of the comments on my last post. But I had to remind myself that in this parenting journey people will always say things that are going to make me feel crazy and/or stupid. In my defense I will say this: B only just got teeth a few weeks ago, so I really wasn't comfortable giving him adult food without teeth. Also I have a friend who gave her daughter nothing but breast milk for the first year. And B is healthy and normal and average size/weight so I had no reason to believe he's not getting what he needs. I was in fact waiting for the one year mark to really start bringing real food into the picture, and that's just around the corner. So, we'll get there.
It does make me wonder how often we do things a certain way with our children because it's just easier and we're lazy. My mommy & me group is full of first timers, wide-eyed and scared, asking each other "are you doing this? Are you not doing that?" Yesterday a new mom asked if I'm reading to B every day. I said, "nope." My attempts at reading to B have entirely consisted of him grabbing the (board) book out of my hand, ripping it to pieces, and eating it. That's not to say I don't try to sit him down and at least turn the pages and point to things with him. But I don't try very hard, or very often. Right now he just wants to be on the move. He wants to bang things, drop things, and see what they taste like. His whole mission in life is to drop everything over the side of his playpen.
I just feel like none of our parents, and certainly not our grandparents, ever gave a shit about any of this stuff. They let us do things when we were ready. They warmed bottles for us on the stove, bathed us in the kitchen sink, dressed us in hand-me-downs, gave us sharp lead-filled toys, and we all turned out ok.
Right now my son is ripping off his socks and shoving them in his mouth. He seems to be enjoying himself, so I'm just going to let him have at it.
It was clearly my comment that stung -- and I really am very sorry. It was actually on my mind that, once I saw it published, I realized how sharp it sounded (ah, the lovely powers of the internet to say things too quickly). I was admittedly very surprised to learn how little Bumpus is eating/drinking, but (1) it's none of my business to judge; and (2) if I wanted to say something constructive, what I SHOULD have said was -- he's ready for it (even if you aren't so sure you are)! Have fun letting him explore tastes and textures. Even without teeth, he can gnaw his way through a lot of yummy stuff.
ReplyDeleteAgain -- I'm really sorry.
No worries - you didn't say anything unkind or untrue; it just gave me that mom panic of "uh oh, am I screwing up something here and I don't know it...?" I am famous for overreacting to small things and not taking big things seriously enough, so I'm always worried about that.
DeleteYou are kind to be so understanding. And I know the "oh crap" feeling well...sorry to have caused it!!
DeletePeople definitely do and believe different things. I know someone with twins a little over a month older than mine who posted pictures of hers eating pancakes and a family who post pictures of twins about two months old than mine drinking root beer (out of adult's straw) and eating chocolate. I would not be doing any of these things, but I keep my mouth shut. And I am pretty sure they will all grow up to be just fine.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you said about our parents/grandparents & us surviving. There is so much that parents today worry & stress about that were non issues 50 years ago.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry someone gave you a hard time in your comments. Boo to them. I have two kids--age 7 and 2. My two year old refused purees. I refused baby led weaning b/c I didn't like the sound of it. She was the biggest baby you've ever seen--completely off the charts. She finally started eating solids at 15 months and she is just fine. My seven year old tore up books. Reading to him was not enjoyable for either of us, so I didn't. He started reading at age 5 and just this morning he told me "I never knew reading could be so much fun!"
ReplyDeleteSo many of the little details just don't matter. The kids will all get there some day. Of course, some of them matter very much--it is so hard to know which are which! I guess my big things are consistency and love.
"Food before one is just for fun". I read that somewhere when I was doing a little research to defend my position on not wanting to give Annelise Rice cereal. I tend to ignore what is normal for the US and pay more attention to the WHO. Breast milk is all they need for the first year. I would have gone that route if I had been able. Take your cues from him. He'll start to prefer solids when his body tells him he needs it.
ReplyDeleteParents from the past (in my opinion) had fewer options but knew all those parenting basics still had to be done with what they had. No over-thinking it or being lazy. They probably couldnt afford either one. On one hand its not the end of the world if you're not reading daily. On the other hand, if its just easier to not try, then try harder. Have you tried sitting down with more than one book in his vicinity? You read one, let him drive-by read the rest. Really, just read to him and don't worry that much over it. Same with food. Same with just about everything.
ReplyDeleteHere's lazy for you. My sister-in-law never once sat down and tried to feed my nephew solids. She'd dump some purée into a bottle, add water, shake it up and done. He didn't get solids until he was grabbing them off our plates.
ReplyDeleteI think I was more eager to get Felix on to solids since he's formula fed. He still doesn't have any teeth, but at some point he learned how to "chew" and will now chew his food quite thoroughly before swallowing. He makes some pretty funny faces!
Sounds to me like you are doing great. try not to be offended by what others do. They did what was right in their situation, you'll do what's right in yours. With regard to the reading, I think it is important to just develop a love for books, if you sit him down and force him you will just make him hate books, (but you know that... I just wanted to agree with you to make you feel better).
ReplyDeleteA quote I love to keep in mind is “When you teach a child something you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself.” ~ Jean Piaget - so I say eat socks to your hearts content bumpus, and soon you will discover better things to munch on!
sounds like he's thriving so I wouldn't worry. like everything, he will get it figured out sooner or later.
ReplyDeletei agree on not buying bigger bottles at this point. sippy cups with silicone spouts worked well for us to transition, especially the Nuk, our favorite. and also, C doesn't drink milk at all and i don't worry about. she does eat yogurt and cheese, but nowhere near 16 oz. but some cultures don't do dairy at all. as long as he's getting calcium somehow, he's fine. and since he's still getting BRESSSSS (however you spell it), he is.
Being a mom is tough!! Especially since everyone has their own way of parenting and their own kids to parent. I always try to remind myself that there is no other family like mine; no other me out there and no other Elsie. So do what works for you and Bumpus and to hell with everyone else.
ReplyDeleteI just commented on your last post, and then read this one. So, while I know I'm not the one who made the comment that stung, I hope my comment was/is taken ok. I most definitely think each parent should make her own decision(s) about just about everything. I don't like (or mean) to judge, not at all! B is obviously doing just fine. And you make a good point about all of us surviving our upbringings, although I do know that some things have changed for the better because enough people *didn't* survive (i.e. babies sleeping on their backs). But food? B is and will be fine! Keep on doing what you're doing - it's obviously working quite well!
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