Hell is others

So annoyed right now. So I'm in this mommy & me meetup group, and I've been very active in it, attending nearly all of the scheduled events and planning three of my own. The leader is moving to Florida in a couple of weeks and put out an email asking a few of us if we'd be willing to take over as organizer, which would mean paying the fees and approving new members in addition to planning events. I said I'd do it, but if others would be willing to help with events and fees that'd be great. Two to three of the others said they'd be happy to help with the fees and planning, and that was the last I heard.

Yesterday I ran a meetup for this group at my farmer's market. It didn't turn out too well. Only five people RSVP'd, then two canceled and one said she was running way behind so to go ahead without her. I waited at the meeting spot for about ten minutes, but just had a feeling the other two were going to be no-shows; two weeks ago I went to an entirely different meetup at this very market and nobody showed but the organizer, and she was nearly an HOUR late so I just left. Fearing a repeat of this I posted on the meetup site that I was going to start walking around, this is what my stroller looks like, come find me. Honestly I would have waited a lot longer, but the spot I was waiting was hot and sunny and there was a group of teenagers skateboarding (and the skateboards were flying everywhere), yelling and swearing really loudly (this is a huge pet peeve of mine - I always want to yell, "excuse me, young man, there are ladies present!"). Anyway so I was really uncomfortable sitting there and just wanted to get moving, figuring I'd circle around and check for the two remaining women.

Well, one of them did find me, and she was delightful. Unfortunately she's going to Canada for two months next week, but I'm hoping I'll see her again at some point. What became of the last person I don't know since she never communicated if she was there or not.

Anyway. So today I get an email from the organizer asking how it went, and I told her. Then a couple of hours later she sends me this weird email saying she appreciates that I have been planning some events but she wants to remind me "based on some feedback I've been getting" that I need to wait at least 20 minutes for people and need to make sure I welcome everyone. Then she says she's turning over organizer responsibilities to someone who has only planned one event and hasn't attended ANY in the past couple of months, and wasn't even one of the people who offered to help plan or pay fees. Huh?

Then a few minutes later another email, just one line saying "thank you for your understanding." What?

The whole thing makes me feel very criticized and hurt. It makes me think that I've done a bad job and am being punished by having the organizer status taken away. It certainly reads that way, doesn't it? Or am I nuts?

Now in the end it's probably best that someone else take the reins and I just enjoy being a member who shows up, with no responsibility. Especially as my event gets closer I just won't have the mental energy to deal with organizing a group. But the whole thing was just weird. I feel - here we go - rejected. All together now.

On top of that I went to my beloved silver lake park today...only to find they had aerated the soil in the whole grassy part, meaning that every two inches there's a hard, turd-like cylinder of soil. Try putting a one-year-old down in that, and try keeping those enticing bite-sized dirt mounds out of his mouth. After spending five minutes pulling dirt out of his mouth and hands and saying no about fifty times, I finally had to just scoop him up and wheel him away, while he was having a major meltdown. So, that park is now out - probably all year, since I don't see those awful dirt cylinders going anywhere anytime soon, unless we have a huge rain, which we will not.

...aaaand tonight I have to finish my taxes, and I shirked off last night so now I have HOURS of tax prep ahead of me, and a baby who hasn't napped and wouldn't eat his lunch so I took it away, resulting in another meltdown, which then resulted in my leaving him to scream in the playpen while I sat in another room and slowly ate two Cadbury cream eggs. Good times.