I've used my umbrella stroller in real life situations a few times now and I hate hate hate it. Yesterday I was trying to walk around the blinding LA city streets with a drink in one hand, and it just sucked - sun right in B's eyes while the stupid flimsy shade kept collapsing, nowhere to stow my purse or shopping bags, no cup holder and so I had to hold my drink which then meant trying to steer the stroller with one hand which was virtually impossible. And no tray for B to play with and put his poor dangling feet up on. So I may keep it for travel but it is otherwise useless to me.
So the last two mornings I've given B milk, bananas, strawberries and a waffle for breakfast. Today I am going to attempt lunch and dinner using real food. It's just a question of looking at my food and trying to figure out how to make it safe and appealing for a baby. It's tempting to just do dairy and carbs and fruit - but I know we have to get those veggies in there. It's a whole new way of looking at what I eat and how I shop. Almost like starting a new diet or something - kind of turns everything on its head.
Which brings me to my point. I had a thought the other day about the difference between people who do things the "normal" way and people who choose single parenthood. This may come across as whiny but I don't mean it that way; it's just an observation. I think people who meet someone, date for a while, maybe live together, then get married, then have a baby, are just a lot more prepared for the changes a baby brings. You've already learned to change your habits and compromise to live with another person. Your lifestyle is already being groomed to accept new people in your house and your life. In fact in most cases it's not your house and your stuff but our house and our stuff. Now me, I haven't had that several years of grooming - it was just one day I'm single and living the same single life I've lived for decades; the next I'm a mother. Literally overnight. Now of course I had nine months of pregnancy and several months of contemplating before that; but that's nothing compared to several years of living a family life, of sharing your life with one other person. The only situation I can think is similar to what we SMCs go through is when people have only dated a few months, get pregnant, and get married. Honestly that must be way more jarring. But then again that usually happens to young people who aren't set in their ways.
I guess this is just my way of saying I'm struggling a bit with letting go of some of my single chick behavior. For example I realized today that if we're going to have dinner together, a real family dinner, it means I can no longer comfortably eat dinner in front of the TV. We have to be in the kitchen, because I'm not letting the baby eat in the living room, no way. And I know it's nice to have family dinners where we just share time together and enjoy the food and don't have the TV mesmerizing us. But. I've eaten dinner in front of the TV every night for 20+ years. It's how I relax and unwind. It's what I do. Somehow not doing that anymore kind of makes me sad. I don't want to sit in the kitchen and stare at the wall. I know it's a small thing and like everything else I just need to get over it. But if there were a partner here it would be different - I'd make an effort to make real dinners with flowers on the table, etc. And when B is older I am looking forward to doing this, when we can have a conversation and I can ask him about school. But right now it just seems kind of meh.
Yes I had that same issue, but we have a 'no eating in the lounge' rule here too. You will be surprised. The facial expressions as they try different foods and the communicate, even not in words, can be fun. I also find that I can eat mine and then get on with the washing up etc while BB still munches, so that is another job done, leaving more time for relaxing later. Good luck with the changes!
ReplyDeleteI think the jump from wife to mother was astronomically difficult. Yes, there is a lot of compromise when you become a couple, but at least it is compromise with a reasonable person who shares your goals. Motherhood was much, much harder.
ReplyDeleteFor the stroller, you might want to check out a consignment sale. There are probably several in your area. http://www.lakidsconsignment.com/ is just one I found from a quick google search. It is so important to have the right stroller that will do what you need it to do.
Yep, I'm not looking forward to actually sitting at the table to eat either! Until Isaac is old enough to chat during a meal, I plan to incorporate music. Part of our issue right now is that he goes to bed prior to my being hungry enough for dinner.
ReplyDeleteI've been wanting to leave you a comment on your last couple of posts but have been restricted to the phone, and I have a hard time with commenting from the phone. I can relate to a lot of what you're going through with transitioning to "real" food. I had a lot of anxiety about switching Annelise to eating meals rather than just nursing when she wanted or having a bottle. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to figure out the when, how, what of doing it. And like you I was use to eating in front of the TV or over the sink, when I wanted and not necessarily at regular meal times. I felt completely overwhelmed. My advice is to take it in small steps and not to worry about having "sit down/together meals" right away. Start with just giving him a solid food in place of nursing once a day. I starting with giving Annelise vegetables and fruit at lunch instead of nursing. And then eventually added fruit and waffles for breakfast, and then eventually a meal in the evening. At first I tried to have our meals together but gave that up quickly as I became too overwhelmed trying to make it work. I gave her her food sitting in her highchair in the kitchen, and then I ate whenever I wanted. I'd hang out with her in the kitchen but I didn't worry about trying to fix something we could both eat. At first it felt like I was spending my entire day in either food prep or clean up, but eventually I learned tricks and adjusted. We are just now getting to the point where we eat together. For about the last month I've tried to have one sit down at the table together and eat meal (usually supper). Doing it in small steps I think helped. Everything I read said they are fine with just breastmilk or formula for the first year, so don't feel like you need to go to eating three meals a day right away. You'll figure it out as you go along.
ReplyDeleteOh and I love your highchair. I wanted one like that only in yellow but couldn't find it local and everything I found on ebay would have been to pricey to have shipped.
Oh my....so true about eating and watching TV. I don't know if I could even eat with it - lol - its become such a habit. And I think my biggest worry is the adjustment part as well after being alone and set in my ways as you mentioned.
ReplyDeleteI have been having the "Do we sit at a table to have dinner?" dilema too. As you pointed out it is not like we can have a conversation. And I find after about 10 minutes, Elsie loses patience and starts wandering around. So I am left at the table by myself defending the remaining food on her plate from the cat. SO MUCH FUN! And no satisfaction after spending all that time cooking the meal.
ReplyDeleteI totally get where you are at right now. I have eaten dinner in front of the TV, often in bed, for forever, and I really wonder how I'm going to give that up. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it I suppose. Bumpus seems to be enjoying his breakfast quite a bit! The look on his face is just precious!
ReplyDeleteI get it, I do. I think you have a point with the single motherhood versus being in a couple first and then motherhood. I've also eaten in front of the tv for years - all three meals a day sometimes! It's hard to break the habit, but I found I couldn't watch tv while I was eating, anyway, if Jordyn was awake. I've been doing ok eating in the kitchen with her. My problem is, I *really* need to learn how to cook! Good luck managing all the changes - there certainly are a lot of them, and it's a tough transition.
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