Cuteness

I've been thinking a lot about children's self image and body image lately. Mainly because I spend a lot of time thinking about how cute my baby is, and we spend a lot of time with my female friends who always remark on how cute he is, what a heartbreaker he'll be, etc. I worry that he's already learning to charm people with his looks, and learning to expect people to react to him in a certain way because of his looks.

I know it probably sounds insane that I would even think about something like this. But I remember a radio show once where they were talking about good looking politicians - John Edwards in particular - and how they've always been handsome, and probably always got away with murder because of it. It really made me think about how early we imprint on our kids the importance of their physical appearance. Cute babies and children are going to be looked at more, smiled at more, picked up more, given more attention, and probably more bad behavior will be forgiven. It just goes to show how early these lines are drawn in human society.

It's also true that children who are "easy" are going to be complimented more, picked up more, smiled at more, etc. I remember the tremendous pressure put on me as a child actor to be "outgoing" and "personable" at auditions so I would get the job; in the end it never mattered how good an actress I was; it was only about my appearance and how friendly and mature I was, when I was just a shy kid in a sea of much prettier little girls.

My time with the family this week involved a lot of comparison between my baby and my half-sister's son when he was a newborn, and how funny looking he was and how my half-sister worried her father didn't love him because the baby's appearance was so off putting. For the record he grew up to be super cute. But it does make me wonder why every discussion about babies tends to focus on their cuteness or lack thereof. Is it because we don't really know them yet? Because at this stage, with no talking or moving around, they don't have much personality yet?

I don't think there's much you can do about this particular phenomenon; it's just the way the world works. Thank goodness we all have the option of developing talents and a personality even if we're not blessed with conventional good looks. And thank goodness all mommas think their babies are beautiful even if they're not.