Wednesday, February 26, 2014

High Anxiety

Had a bit of a freak out yesterday. Felt nauseated and "off" all day, plus had this persistent period-like cramping pain on the right side of my lower abdomen. Googling only showed these to be either a) symptoms of early labor, or b) not symptoms of early labor. I didn't bother to call any advice lines or go in anywhere because what I was experiencing could hardly be considered contractions - nothing time-able or rhythmic, just a dull annoying pain. However it did freak me out that that was exactly how I felt after the Cervidil used at the beginning of my induction last time. A dull, annoying pain, like period cramps. For hours.

In the end it felt better when I changed position (I find sitting in my glider extremely uncomfortable now, and almost impossible to get up from), and was so tired by 11 PM I told myself to just go to sleep because there was nothing to be done about it now anyway. 

And of course today I'm fine. But I have to admit last night I was freaked out. After all my harping on about wanting to experience spontaneous labor, I now wonder if I have the stomach for it! Be careful what you wish for, huh? The uncertainty is killing me. Now when people ask how much longer, as a man did in the supermarket today, I can honestly say "oh, any day now!" 

The thing that bugs me the most is possible false alarms - like last night - if it gets to the point of getting all set up with my doula ready to meet me, the sitter on her way from San Diego, my sister on a plane, some friend inconvenienced in the middle of the night to come sit with B, and me in Labor & Delivery being told, "yeah, go home. You're not in labor, you just have indigestion." Although the odds are this is a lot less likely with a second baby, it's still a possibility. Now that would suck. But I have zero experience with "real" labor so it may be a bit touchy. Unless my water breaks I really may not know what's happening. You cramp and hurt and feel weird all the time at this point. When is it for real?

Part of my problem is I've cleared most of my activities in anticipation of possible labor...which has left me bored, lonely, and obsessing. I am thinking I might load up my schedule even if I have to cancel everything just so I can keep busy and keep my mind off things. Of course it's set to start raining here tonight for several days, which in LA means don't leave the house because the roads are so dangerous. What the heck am I going to do cooped up with an active two-year-old for five days??? I'd better start making some plans pronto!

Here is a pic taken of B at the baby kennel last weekend for "Hispanic Awareness Day" - of the least Hispanic kid in the place, ha ha!



  1. I just remember being totally paranoid that my water would break in public (especially in my classroom). My aunt told me that her coworker (also a teacher) would keep a jar of pickles in her desk drawer. That way, if her water broke in front of her elementary students, she would break the jar on the floor and pretend that pickle juice got all of her pants too!

  2. Don't forget your doula is experienced with this sort of thing. Call her and explain the situation and ask her to help you figure out when to call folks.

    So exciting that the time is getting close!

    I was induced last time and I know I will be SO nervous of spontaneous labor next time (assuming I get pregnant). The idea of having to travel to a hospital while already in labor sounds so crazy to me!

  3. Your nightmare scenario is exactly what happened to me with 2nd baby. Two weeks (TWO WEEKS!) of prodromal labor - contractions 5 to 20 minutes apart, unable to sleep at all, and, yes, finally going to the hospital one night and being sent home. (Though the next day my midwife was annoyed they'd sent me home - I had been at 5 cm and she was like, lets break your water and finally get this party started!). Only (unsolicited) advice is to stay open to whatever comes - disappointment stems from expectations. And I think keeping busy is a really great idea.

  4. love this photo of him. he's such a charmer! :)

  5. I think you'll know. It's one of those "you'll just know" things, which I know is annoying... but it just kinda is, sorry. :( I had bloody show, which helped me figure out things were going to get started soon, and they did. So maybe you'll have that hint? The contractions were also different from what I'd felt before (Braxton Hicks). At the beginning they weren't time-able, I literally sat here with my contraction-timing app on my phone and couldn't figure out when to hit "start" and "stop". But then that changed, and they got VERY time-able, and I knew then it was definitely for real, although I'd been pretty sure before. I was also five days late, so that helped me figure it was actually time. Good luck! It'll all be over soon, and whatever will have been, will have been. Regardless of what that is, you'll have gotten through it, and all will be well.