Time for toys and time for cheer

As promised, in bed in my jammies watching my new bedroom TV.  No good movies on and too lazy to get up and pick out a DVD, but enjoying a little true crime on the ID channel.  The only thing that would make this more complete is a Hoarders marathon.

Overdid it a bit yesterday but it was worth it.  After the painter guy finished up around 3, I spent five hours hustling to get the house in shape for a small white elephant party.  I went into full event mode – every half hour was broken down into goals: by four I want the bathroom scrubbed, house dusted, and all furniture and knick knacks put back; by four thirty I want the floors mopped and vacuumed; then lunch break, then get dressed and made up, etc etc.  In the end I got to have an hour off my feet waiting for the first guests to arrive.  It’s funny, every time I finish one of those marathon cleaning sessions I always think the same thing, “this is awesome!  I should clean more often!”  And yet this feeling fades amazingly quickly.  Anyway, despite all the stress I’d had about it over the last two weeks (worry about the paint not being done in time, the house being a mess of plaster dust, not having the tree and decorations up that I wanted, etc) the party ended up being really fun.  And it was somehow different.  Maybe it’s just because it’s Christmas and a lot of the people I’d invited hadn’t seen each other in a long time, but there was a lot of good will in the room.  And of course a lot of good will directed towards me, which I am starting to get more comfortable with.  My friends’ reactions to my pregnancy has really changed our relationships and also shed light on our relationships for the past 15 or so years – last night I couldn’t help thinking, “wow, these people really do love me!” 

It’s funny, just hours earlier the painter and I had had a discussion about this – he’s probably about my age and has a four-year-old and comes from the same 90s LA hipster background I do.  He said that having a baby will bring my friendships to a whole new level – that now so-and-so will be aunt-so-and-so or uncle-so-and-so; they become family.  I sort of knew this on some level but never really thought about it in quite that way.  Last night a couple of the moms of grown kids and I were talking and they said when they had their kids they were so isolated; none of their friends were in kid-having mode, they had no support and no network.  I can’t imagine how lonely that would feel.  Honestly had I not been aware of the potential network of supportive friends and fellow new parents around me I might have had second thoughts about doing this at all. 

Today I will attempt to make some headway with my registry, since my friend who’s doing the shower invites wants to send them next week and I figure it’s bad form to send out invites and not have the registries in place (I’m one of those psychos who wants to get on line and buy a present the day I get the invite).  I started a couple of days ago but am completely overwhelmed.  Everyone I talk to says, “if I could do my registry now instead of three years ago, it would be totally different!”.  I think what I need to do is recognize this is one of those situations in life that will just have to be flawed – I am going to register for things I don’t need, forget things I do, and end up getting things I don’t need and not getting things I do.  I should be grateful people are willing to buy me anything at all, actually!  Having to put out of pocket for an entire cloth diaper start-up kit, not to mention all the clothes/bedding/nursing stuff/furniture/toys/educational stuff/travel gear etc could be pretty devastating to me financially.  It dawned on me the other day that this could be the only shower I ever get in my life, so I’d better really treasure the moment!

Right now every muscle in my body aches from all the activity yesterday.  I guess I needn’t worry about not getting enough exercise right now, with all the stuff I’ve been doing lately.  I had a hard time sleeping because my right arm and hand kept hurting – I think it’s that pregnancy carpal tunnel I’ve heard about.  It’s ok now but my hand is pretty swollen.  Trying to drink a lot of water to mitigate that.

In the meantime been reading some blogs about women suffering through morning sickness at this time of year.  All I can say is I hear ya, sister!  It must SUCK to feel like that at this time of year which is all about food and obligations you can’t get out of.  It wasn’t too pleasant to be that sick at the height of summer, either, but I would be very unhappy missing out on all the Christmastime food and parties.  I think it would make me cry, actually.  So for anyone who’s in that place right now, cry if you want to.  Even if nobody else understands, I do.

For now I intend to catch up on some maternity reading – The Maternity Jeans That Wouldn’t Stay Up – and other stories, and I’ve Dropped My Keys and Can’t Pick Them Up, both by acclaimed author I.P. Freely.  Merry Christmas, everyone!

26 weeks and the shortest day

Today is the shortest day of the year.  On this day I always feel like I can breathe a bit of a sigh of relief – it’s all downhill from here.  From this point on the days grow longer, and next thing you know spring is here.  This is also the last week of my second trimester.  In a sense, it’s all downhill from here in my pregnancy, too.

Yesterday I started making a list of things that need to happen in the first three months of next year, and was a little appalled.  Now almost all of this is work related, not baby related – tons of tax stuff for the various businesses I’m involved in, plus getting my registration going, fliers distributed, information to the web, a video promo cut, etc.  It’s a lot that all has to happen in January alone.  As far as baby stuff, I have to start my registry (I’m assuming baby shower invites probably shouldn’t go out unless my registry is settled…and I haven’t even started it), I’d like to get a 4D ultrasound (was trying to hook this up before Christmas as presents for relatives, but never got it together), and I want to do some professional maternity photos.  Not to mention all the stuff that has to happen for my body – starting to exercise, taking birthing/baby classes, keeping up with the yoga, touring the hospital, plus all the third trimester ob visits/tests/etc.  So I am very glad I’ve done what I could do now, even though it’s stressful doing house projects/clearing stuff out around Christmas when you’re preoccupied. 

More women are giving birth on my March 2012 board.  So far the babies have survived and are doing well.  This blows my mind.  I would SO not be prepared to give birth right now!  Although some stats say as of next week he would have a 90% chance of survival and only a 10% chance of permanent disabilities.  The fact that my baby is already over a foot long and about two pounds – crazy!  Where is he?  I can’t believe he’s in my body.  I thought I’d be a lot bigger by now (Omar the Tentmaker photo notwithstanding).  I feel relieved when I think of next week’s trip to North Carolina – barring any sudden changes, I am not sick, in pain, or unwieldy.  Cross country stressful trip in a week?  Piece of cake.  It will be the last time I travel without a child in tow or worrying about a child left behind, so I am going to try to enjoy it as much as possible. 

So, what am I going to do for Christmas?  Well, I’ve had several invites, and will probably take people up on some of them just to be polite/social.  But part of me just wants to sit in bed and watch movies.  Christmas Eve & Christmas are some of the only days you can be lazy entirely guilt-free; banks are closed, post offices closed, nobody in the Judeo-Christian world answering e-mails or doing any kind of non-essential work.  So, why not just be a slob in my jammies for a couple of days?  Sounds like a Merry Christmas to me!

You're crowding me, lady

This is what I feel like my son says every time I lean over and he starts kicking.  Speaking of feeling crowded, I have now arranged all the furniture in the nursery and…I freakin’ hate it!  The furniture is all on top of each other and it’s not set up for any kind of work flow and it SUCKS.  And I have a friend bringing over a glider and ottoman at some point, and there is literally not a square inch of space for this item.  Also, sorry N, but I hate the colors I picked.  Maybe it’s just the lighting, so I’ll give it a little time and maybe get brighter lights in the overhead light, but it’s just so dark and gloomy in there.  And I don’t think “dark” and “gloomy” are terms any mother puts on her vision board for her nursery!  Again, it’s not like it’s really his “room” like a real closed off room would be, it’s just a place to hold his stuff & change him.  But it’s bumming me out. 

What am I going to do about it?  Well, I’ll sit with the colors for a couple of weeks (no time between now and New Year’s to deal with this anyway) because I may change my mind.  But as far as the furniture – I think the only thing to do is sell my lovely 1930’s club set, whose sofa is taking up residence in there.  It takes up a whole wall, needs to be slip covered, and now with a smaller living room, the two chairs are also crowding the living room.  Ever since I stopped using this set as my primary seating for the living room, I’ve been shifting it around helplessly not knowing where to put it.  I love the thing but I just don’t have the space.  So now I have to figure out how to sell it.  A preliminary glimpse at Craig’s List and Ebay doesn’t yield anything at all similar I can base a price off of.  I bought it in 1997 when I started work at Paramount as a celebratory splurge piece.  Could I get a couple thousand for it…?  Maybe.  And if I get even half that it could just be the solution to my money problems.  So I will give selling it a shot after the holidays, and hopefully the freed-up space and money will give me a little breathing room.

In other nursery woes I picked up my 1940’s baby buggy yesterday and am having a bit of buyer’s remorse.  It’s a beautiful item, don’t get me wrong.  But it’s HUGE and HEAVY.  Again, takes up pretty much an entire wall in the nursery, and can’t be stored in the car or down near the street so I can actually use it.  Put together it weighs about 60 lbs; separated each piece is about 30 lbs which is already over the limit of what I feel comfortable carrying right now.  I wish I had it instead of the crib…but there you go.  For ten years I’ve had this problem of bringing things into this house thinking they’ll fit just fine, and discovering the house is infinitely smaller than I ever remember it being.  I’ll never forget my old sectional sofa that I bought because it was the smallest one in the store – I get it home and it literally takes up the entire living room, blocking doorways and windows.  What a nightmare!  I always forget that everything that comes in here has to be tiny otherwise it overwhelms everything. 

Anyway, don’t think I’m stressing out about this stuff.  It’ll all get fixed, and luckily I have plenty of time to change my mind about things and/or rearrange until I’m happy.  It just kind of cracks me up all the mistakes I’ve made around here over the years – I’ve made decisions about remodeling/decorating that have literally cost thousands to fix or undo, all just because they were bad ideas to begin with.  I guess this is why people hire professionals!

In other news, in looking at my baby ticker I can't help but notice I am now in the double digits as opposed to triple digits - woo hoo!

The Jig is Up

I decided to out myself on Facebook.  Not in any dramatic way, but I figured since everyone knows now anyway (and I certainly can’t physically hide it anymore) I could at least occasionally mention it, and post pictures of myself in my “condition” (as with the picture I posted on here yesterday).  I had two people private message me to ask if I was expecting, and one person text, and a handful of people give thumbs up (ha ha, thankfully there’s no “f-you button”…yet) and comment positively.  So, that’s that.  I don’t feel like I need to pretend it’s not happening, but I don’t have to announce it with some big fanfare, either.  Works for me.

Drove out to Agoura to pick up my 1940’s baby buggy today.  It weighs an EFFING TON.  I could barely get it up the stairs even in two pieces.  It’s in great shape, and is indeed a beautiful item.  But will certainly not be for every day use.  May not even be for non-every day use.  If it weren’t for the stairs, or if it could be stored in the car…but no.  Oh well.  It will look great in the baby’s room (color matches the blue walls) and I can always haul it down for special occasions.  But man is this thing heavy!

Yesterday I had my first actual conversation with my child.  Oh, I’ve said little things here and there, but always with a sense that I’m just being silly and feeling somewhat self-conscious.  But yesterday I was showering and he started moving around for the first time that morning, and I just reflexively asked, “Oh, are you awake?” I don’t know how to describe how this time it was different, but it just was.  I think movement helps you a lot to feel connected to the baby.  It’s the first time your baby can express an opinion about something – I don’t like it when you sit in that position, I like it when you eat that, etc.  And so his little personality is already asserting itself.  Which I think is fabulous. 

Painter guy returns today to start the dining room.  I hope it’s easier because there’s no peeling wallpaper…but it may be harder because there’s more wall space to deal with.  Can he get the walls peeled, sanded, primed and painted with two coats before Friday…?  I dread having everything all torn up around here again, but there’s nothing to be done about it…better now than later.  For me I have to finish the nursery walls so I can put everything back and get organized; half the nursery stuff is in the living room.  Yep, it’s a right old mess around here.  But still I feel so free when I think of all the broken appliances, unused books, and other crap I’ve managed to unload in the last couple of weeks.  Really I should do a big purge like that every year, as I do with my clothes and shoes…with a second person living here soon, this may become a necessity.  Because Lord knows that child is going to be positively showered with toys!

Been debating about the whole Santa thing, and appropriately enough, just about every talk radio show I’ve listened to this week has had an hour discussion on the topic.  You know what?  I think we’re going to do Santa.  I think all the enjoyment he’ll get out of the magic of Santa and Christmas will be far more important than any potential disappointment at discovering he’s not real.  As some friends pointed out, even if Santa is never mentioned in your household, it’s everywhere – every movie, TV show, song on the radio, mentions him, and then once the kid is in school, the majority of other kids will be into Santa.  So, why not?  I think it could be a lot of fun, actually, leaving milk and cookies out for him, making some presents from Santa and some from mom (and doing special wrapping for the Santa presents which some of the radio callers suggested).  I never really believed in him myself – my mother took a “well, maybe there is, and maybe there isn’t” approach, and I just kind of came to my own conclusion – but I do want to make sure my kid gets to experience all the magical parts of childhood.  So done, and done.   

So far here’s the Major Parenting Decisions Roundup:

Santa – yes

Veggie at home, omnivore everywhere else

No God, Jesus, or Bible, but certainly an awareness of these things, and in a non-judgmental way (I’ll keep my bitterness to myself)