First week

We have survived the first week of school, and my event is two weeks away, which is utterly bizarre to me. Much to my chagrin, despite having been told our school is moving towards being a no-homework school, both boys had homework all week starting on Tuesday. Bobby is capable of doing his without much oversight, but Theo is another story. It’s been like pulling teeth all week. His teacher has a list of things they need to do each night which I have to sign, including 30 minutes of reading. This, too, is torture, as he fools around most of the time and asks, “how many more minutes?” way more than he actually reads. I’m hoping these shenanigans calm down as we get past this first week which is always a difficult adjustment. Also, the boys have insisted I pick them up each day because it’s too hot to walk home - and it pretty much is, and probably will be for the next month. Not like it’s some huge inconvenience for me to go get them…but I don’t want them to get too into the habit of me driving up there all the time. I still stand by the fact that they need a little freedom and independence, and walking home is a big part of that.

Yesterday I decided to make that long solo drive out to the desert to check on the cabin, and enjoyed it immensely. As far as damage, there was none, except that one corner of the foundation that I was worried about. I got into the place and was struck by how it was exactly as we left it Memorial Day weekend; that familiar smell of baking hot wood hit me as soon as I cracked open the door and has haunted me ever since. Sigh. I wish I could just stay there. 

But I got in the car for the 2 1/2 hour drive home and have experienced nothing but tsuris since. On the drive I got calls and emails from my new sound/floor guy telling me how incompetent my hotel contact is and my hotel contact calling me to tell me how mean and rude the new sound/floor guy is, and oh by the way this year we’re charging you $800 for him to park his truck all weekend. No. No to all of this. 

Today after much anticipation my scholarship recipients were notified by the outside group that is in charge of the program, and as they began to flood my email with registrations, I noticed an unpleasant pattern - while the majority of the people were the POC the scholarship was intended for, somehow a handful of middle class white people, most of whom have paid for and attended my event for years, managed to be awarded free passes. How did this even happen? I fought literally the entire day via FB messenger with the person in charge, who kept insisting that if the people reviewing the applications (all POC and/or members of the lgbtq community) approved these people then who am I to question it…but then admitted that the application never asked a person’s circumstances, the people reading the applications were discouraged from vetting any of these people, so basically it was just a “why I love swing dancing” essay contest in which apparently almost everyone who applied got accepted. What? This was not at all what I signed on for. The entire purpose of this scholarship program was to “increase diversity” and award people from underrepresented groups. This is not middle class straight able bodied white people. We’ve got plenty of those. The verbal gymnastics this person had to do to try to convince me I was wrong and he was right - the gaslighting, the sarcasm, the accusations - was just awful. I stuck to my guns, though, and kept repeating that if this program isn’t about bringing in underrepresented groups like it says it is then it’s not something I’m interested in continuing. In the meantime it directly affects me because several of these white recipients now have a free pass that otherwise have always paid - so I’m out at least $1000 on this fiasco, maybe more. I’m beside myself. I cannot believe how poorly this was run and put together, and how the application committee was given no guidance, apparently, other than pick people you like. What the hell. After going back and forth about this for about seven hours, all while buying groceries, cleaning the house, doing work, picking up kids, making them dinner, I now have a raging headache and just want to collapse. I got very little else done today. Amazing how much time gets wasted by stupid shit like this. 

Here are some pictures of where I wish I was right now.