So far I’ve had no anti-vaxx negativity, but this is mostly because I’ve avoided mentioning my policy in any of my advertising, and also have not once used my ancient email list where all the lunatics apparently are. I’ve debated never using it again, quite honestly, but I also have to recognize there are plenty of people who can’t or won’t see my social media posts, and those people translate to money. And it sucks that I won’t use that important tool just because I’m afraid of right wing wrath. I may try to send a mass email just mentioning we’re opening again on Wednesday and then never send another one again. I don’t know. I just remember how incredibly naive I was last year thinking I wouldn’t have any detractors…and it got so ugly and out of hand that one asshole was contacting the hotel to get my contract canceled and I had to consult a lawyer to consider a libel lawsuit. Will this person return? Will I face another wave of insults and accusations? I don’t have the stomach for it, I just don’t. But hey, so far so good. At least by Sunday I’ll have a giant pile of money to make me feel better if I’m attacked again.
School is winding down. You can tell from how empty the streets are for parking in the morning at drop off, and by the kids’ collective uncombed hair and bedraggled parents making their way to the entrance. It’s been an exhausting school year, but infinitely better than the year before. Maybe by next year we won’t have to do this super annoying and performative “daily pass” every day; maybe some activities and special events, like field trips, can finally return. We’re not at normal yet, but getting there slowly. Only a few weeks left now, and I’m sure everyone - especially teachers and support staff - will heave a huge sigh of relief. Come to think of it, I feel like I should send our awesome principal a big bouquet on the last week of school.
The boys have been walking home every day while I obsessively track them using B’s watch. That purchase has worked out perfectly. And, delightfully, they pick flowers and bring them to me every day. I got a flower press so I can preserve them. The boys aren’t often demonstrative with me (I wonder who they learned that from…) so I treasure these little things.
After months of no motivation, I decided to, yes, start another diet. It occurred to me that I’m turning 50 in about two months, and going on a honeymoon to Fiji, and honestly…I’d like to feel good about myself when both of those things are happening. I’d like to look back on turning 50 feeling like I was in some of the best shape of my life, not the worst. So as I often do, I decided to combine some techniques that have worked for me in the past and just see what happens. I loved certain aspects of fasting, so I decided to do more “timed eating” as a way to trick myself into eating less, and it’s been working. So basically I just get up and try not to eat until early afternoon, which is surprisingly easy since I’m usually busy or back to sleep during those times. Then I have a large, satisfying lunch, about 800 calories, and a smaller dinner, about 500 calories, and try to keep it under 1400 calories a day which is what my LoseIt app recommended. I also banked a few hundred calories all week towards a birthday party I knew I was attending on Saturday so I could enjoy a piece of cake guilt-free. It’s been a week now, and it’s been a breeze. I feel like this is something I can stick to, maybe even permanently, or do during weekdays only and enjoy weekend eating, like a thin friend of mine in her 50s does; eat sparingly during the week, no breakfast, and then enjoy meals out on weekends. The problem I found with my old fasting regime is it eventually lead me to binge eating on non-fast days because I felt so deprived. It was hard to regulate extreme fasting days with normal days. I’m finding it way easier to just eat “reasonably” all of the time and get into a rhythm with it. Does it work? Well, the math never lies. I’m down 4 lbs already (water weight, I know, but motivating nonetheless). Whereas when I was consuming 2500 calories a day, I was gaining a pound a week right on schedule exactly as the calculators said I would. Now I should lose a pound a week, which should put me on track to at least be back to my old “fat” weight by the wedding, and a decent weight by my birthday, and if I can keep going, a really awesome weight by my event. Or I may just quit once I get to my pre-holiday season weight, who knows. But for the first time in ages I feel like I’m doing something good for my body - I’m currently seven pounds overweight - and I feel positive about it.
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