The last two weekends I’ve had zero plans despite being fully-or nearly fully vaccinated. It’s like a weird womp-womp that this moment - immunity - finally arrives, and guess what? The BF has to work all weekend and all of my friends are unavailable. So after 14 months of sitting in your house, you get to...sit in your house. And enjoy your immunity.
I’m sort of regretting packing our summer with camping while also not regretting it. As much as I’m afraid of being off line while my event controversy rages on, at the same time I think I’ll need every chance to unplug that I can get. As I did some tweaks to the website this morning I found myself panicking slightly at all that has to be done still - a million little details, plus more for covid-related stuff. I started to feel like I’m not going to be able to pull this off. I can’t do this. And wishing for a simpler time in which I envisioned yet another languid summer with no event to stress me out. That would have been amazing.
I’m days from removing my mouth from the government teat with a hollow “pop” as I plan on putting myself back on payroll for the first time since September and removing myself from unemployment. That, in and of itself, is scary. It’s supposed to go away in September anyway, so no time like the present. Still. Scary. I’m on my own again.
This weekend, based on a recommendation from a hiking group, I took the kids to a place a half hour away called the Cave of Munits. It did not disappoint. A short, pleasant hike to an actual cave just minutes outside of a suburban neighborhood. You had to pull yourself up into it with a rope. I was worried about myself with my frozen shoulder, but I did fine, as did Bobby who can be somewhat fearful when it comes to the more adventurous stuff. It’s so gratifying when the kids enjoy outdoor stuff I find for them. My big fear is them deciding the only thing not lame and boring is video games and YouTube. So far they seem to have a healthy balance of an online life and still respect for and interest in the natural world. You do need both things to function in modern society, as much as I’d prefer we spend our downtime whittling chess pieces on the porch.
After today the boys have only 13 more days of school this crazy school year, which is hard to wrap my head around. At this point it doesn’t appear that either kid will be required to present some kind of end-of-year project, which is a relief but also sad. Bobby took his year-delayed OLSAT last week, although we won’t get results for many months. If he gets determined as “gifted” it will definitely set him up for a different trajectory. If not, well, then not. I have zero comprehension of how many kids in an average school will be considered gifted - is it some brass ring, or something half the kids easily qualify as? Who knows.
The SBA grant I applied for a month ago is supposed to make determinations this week. That’s a life changing moment right there. While I’ll survive easily without it - especially if my event makes even a small amount of money - it would make things much easier going forward. I’ll be on pins and needles all week.
Demo begins on our cabin this week. It makes me sad that the cabin we know now will cease to exist - the weathered wood cannot be saved, so the whole thing will be very modern looking (while rustic). But the contractor came pretty much within my budget, which is terrific, and the place should be done by mid-July. It will probably just sit there during the worst of the summer heat, but boy will it be fun to visit this fall! Especially after my event; I may just want to go out there by myself and just stare at the wall for a while.
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