End of Feb

A lot has happened in the last week. We have moved into the kitchen, even though it’s not technically done. It’s done enough that for the last couple of days we’ve eaten in there, I’ve cooked in there, and been able to unpack most of the boxes littering the house (most things have just been thrown in cabinets and drawers in a jumble). I still have things to sort through - mostly linens, which are an odd emotional collection of useless things having belonged to my grandmother (do I continue to hang on to them?), table cloths I’ll never use, aprons I’ll never use, odd decorative items I can’t decide if I’m sick of or not. Many of the things that used to sit in high places in the old kitchen are thickly coated with grease from years of not having had an exhaust fan over the stove. All of those will have to be scrubbed. There’s a lot to go through and a lot of figuring out where’s the best place to put things. 

So far I feel like I’ve mostly made good decisions in there, though. It sucks that I don’t have a lot of counter space - but it was either that or sacrifice being able to eat in there, which I wasn’t ok with. When they finally put in the benches for the eating area the whole space felt cramped...but after a few breakfasts and dinners in there I have to say it’s a blessing to have everything within arm’s reach. I also love that you can now see the entire length of the house, all the way from the window of the enclosed porch to the window at the back of the 2nd bathroom. 

Today they’re doing some final trim, thresholds, and painting. We still need some cabinet doors, the table, and a final light fixture installed. The windows are being painstakingly painted. When the wallpaper lady comes Thursday I think we’ll finally be done...? 

I’m having a huge amount of anxiety about what, if anything, to ask this kitchen designer to credit me for all the mistakes she made that dragged this out months past it’s due date. I know she’s eaten it hard - having to have a whole new wall of cabinets made on her dime, ordering a new sink on her dime, new windows etc. She’s probably not making anything off of this job. Is it better to shake hands and then never hire her again? Or get into a huge conflict niggling over every little thing that went wrong? The whole thing is freaking me out. As much as I can’t wait to have my house back and return to normal life after all of this disruption (since October!), I am also sick with dread about confronting her. 

My software company purchase, while still “on”, has hit some snags. My soon to be business partner had originally wanted to bring two more people on (which I was ambivalent about), but after a lengthy conference call between the four of us, he wants to scale back their involvement. He’s afraid they’ll breathe down his neck and demand results that may not be possible, and I agree. So now he wants to offer them a much smaller stake, and this also stresses me out - we already put it out there to be equal partners; how do you take back that offer without insulting people? Thankfully the ball is in his court, so I don’t have to actually do anything. But it has caused the whole project to stutter, and I’ve got emails piling up for things that should really only be done on the new system, and I’m anxious to get it up and running. 

Also, I have a big, ugly scar on the side of my face. It sucks.

And I have a ton of tax work to do in two days and I have no idea what to expect from my taxes this year. 

And this week was Theo’s Dr Seuss week of every day some pain in the ass thing we have to do in our already crowded mornings - crazy hair, pajamas, dressing like a book character, etc etc - and next week is Bobby’s week. I’m leaning into it the best I can; I know this stuff is important and is supposed to be fun. But man I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. 

Thankfully Bobby’s poop issues are mostly resolved - I give him Miralax in apple sauce every morning, and he’s had only one random accident since. He says he no longer needs to poop in the mornings, only once at night, which makes life a lot easier. I don’t know when he’ll be able to function normally - just go when he feels like he needs to, on his own, without prompting. But just the relief of him not constantly pooping his pants is huge. So there’s that. 

Theo turns five in just two weeks. This is that moment that parents of small children dream of - your youngest child no longer “under five”, ready for kindergarten, past the baby things. As I unpacked boxes for the kitchen I threw away their baby spoons and bibs. Things are happening. Bobby on his own is quiet and gentle and loves to read. Theo is a complete maniac lately - every room of the house is a jungle gym and he barely eats anything - but I’m hoping one day soon we’ll have those quiet rainy afternoons I’d dreamed of with everyone reading or working on projects independently. It’s so within my grasp I can almost feel it.