The refrigerator guys came to take my ailing fridge to their shop, where it will stay for at least two weeks. After replacing every single part of it, it looks like the real problem was some ribbon attached to the fan. Ok. Assuming it is actually fixable it will have been four months since it last worked. Good times.
Bobby is rapidly losing teeth - he now has just one tooth left in the front upper jaw; I can’t imagine that’s comfortable, but he doesn’t seem to mind! When you stop and think about it, it’s completely nuts that our teeth fall out of our heads to make room for bigger teeth. I mean it makes sense, but...weird. I look at Theo’s little mouth and it’s hard to imagine him with gaps in his teeth some day. I have little doubt that both these boys will need some serious orthodenture some day. Good thing I’m getting these expensive home projects done now-!
Last weekend the BF took it upon himself to take another stab at getting these kids out of their pull ups at night. They’ve been out of them for a week now, with him waking them up late at night to pee. The results? They’ve both peed the bed every single night. Will they magically stop one day? Are they still just “not ready”? Bobby is nearly seven. At what point is it just a bad habit that needs to be broken? If there’s one thing I know about this child, he is not the type to happily dispose of babyish things. Much to my despair he has pooped his pants multiple times a day nearly every day for the past few weeks. We had one good week and then he was right back to it. On weekends I have to clean out multiple pairs of underwear a day. Today he told me he just gets busy playing and doesn’t want to stop to sit on the toilet. I told him when he gets to his afterschool program he has to try to go first thing before he gets wrapped up in playing. He agreed, so maybe that’ll help...maybe? Honestly I find it so utterly upsetting and infuriating I can’t even really think about it or talk about it. Like so many things right now, it’s totally out of my control, so I just throw up my hands. I would take him to the doctor but it sounds to me now like it’s just a bizarre behavioral thing, not physical. We’ll see how this new plan goes.
In happier news, I chanced upon an afterschool program that will in fact take Theo. It’s the rec center that picks kids up from his school. Another parent and I walked over there and asked if our kids could attend even though on their website it said five and up; I think they need kids in the program so they’re willing to bend the rules. It’s a shockingly low $25 a month - a month - for five days a week until 6 pm. Crazy. We signed them up on the spot. He will start Monday. Unfortunately his little friend will not start until the next day. I get the feeling other than this one little girl in his class he’ll be the only little kid there - everyone else I saw were nearly junior high age. This does not bode well so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. The counselors seem great, and Theo’s such a happy-go-lucky kid I can’t imagine I’ll have to take him out of there, but I’m prepared for the fact that this might not work out. The rec center itself, despite being attached to a park we’ve been to several times, is covered in gang graffiti and is smack in the middle of the neighborhood across the freeway which still has not been touched by the long fingers of gentrification. These types of situations have never scared me before - I think it’s good for white kids to be a minority and be exposed to all kinds of people - but when I think about just how young and vulnerable he is, I do have concerns for his safety. Still, much like the boys’ Lord of the Flies summer camp, you need to try things. Sometimes they work out just fine, as his school currently is. Fingers crossed he has a good day Monday and he can continue. They also offer a winter camp. Could it be I in fact won’t be stuck with two rowdy boys for three miserable weeks this Christmas???
Today was a “minimum day” wherein Theo had to be picked up at noon and I had to entertain him for nine hours, including a chaotic Halloween carnival at Bobby’s school. To say I’m utterly exhausted is a massive understatement. But I kept telling myself, this may be the last day I have to have a day like this - my freedom, ie full days to myself, is just days away. I look at his sweet little face and wonder what’s wrong with me that I don’t want to spend more time with him. Why do I not treasure these days, his littleness, before he’s no longer interested in me? It’ll all be over so fast - why am I in such a hurry to shunt him off on barely vetted strangers?
Because four-year-olds are fucking crazy, that’s why. Because together these boys are completely exhausting. I don’t go to sleep, I collapse, even on the best of nights. As I drop first Theo, then Bobby, at school, I can feel my stress level lowering. I have been doing this for seven years. I’m drained. And yet I have to just keep going. Nights out, even weekends away, provide only slight fleeting respite from the endless slog that is the full time care of young children.
Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get some relief having that extra 3-4 hours in the afternoon when I need it most. Next week, we’ll find out!
