Gloomy Wednesday

It's a (rare) gloomy Wednesday in Los Angeles and I am enjoying it. Whenever I think of the upcoming summer I just cringe. All anyone can talk about here is the drought and how screwed we all are...when I think of summer (which for us is pretty much May to November) I just picture it being unbearably hot, dry, bright, and miserable. Picture Lawrence of Arabia without the sweeping soundtrack. So, yeah. A day where you can smell the earth because for once it's not just dust blowing in your face and you actually want to get a hot drink at Starbucks? I'll take it.

So Bobby is at school and I'm in the attic with Theo, and he is playing independently, which is wonderful. He has changed a lot recently. He feeds himself, and I have been making an effort to drop the purées and have him eat real food - sandwiches, pieces of cheese, tortilla wraps. But I am still at a bit of a loss as to what to feed these children. I don't know why this is such a weird mental block for me, considering how much I know about food and love to cook. It's just that most of the things I cook for myself are too spicy, complicated, or hard to eat for little kids and babies. I should just do what I did with Bobby at this age - make large batches of "dinner muffins" that they like to grab and that contain vegetables. But those are a lot of work and with two kids I just keep finding I'm just not inspired to do it. Or I could just be preoccupied and lazy. It could be that. 

Two things loom heavily in my immediate future - one, my podcast recording Sunday night, and the date Tuesday. I have been re-listening to many of the podcast episodes in order to prep myself, and had a bit of a sobering moment yesterday. In one, a comedian talks about how he ruined a friendship by trying to get this woman to date him, and then the host chimed in with his own stories of trying, and failing, to turn friendships into relationships. They talk about how in those situations you go for the person who is the hardest to "get", ie, emotionally or otherwise unavailable, because it would be such a huge win if it did work out, and so gratifying and such a way to fix being unloved as a child. Is that what I'm doing with this guy??? Please say no!

A couple of things spring to mind - one is, both the host and his guest are happily married. I'd like to know why/how their wives were different than these other women, how the circumstances were different. I'm going to guess nothing was different except that everyone was older and more mature.

Also, apart from being your typical closed-in East Coaster (as am I), nothing tells me that this guy (my Love Interest) is unavailable. If I felt like he was, I wouldn't even be trying any of this. So am I trying to salve old wounds? Is there something so terrible about trying to date someone you really like? I guess it all depends on how you go about it, and how you react to the results. If I jumped on him on our first lunch date, yeah, that would have been inappropriate. If he gives me the ol' "I like you, but..." speech I've heard a thousand times, and I freak out and start crying or being mean, yeah, that would be lame. But I'm not going to do that. I'll just say, "hey, it's all good. Just wanted to put it out there." And then never mention it again. I believe that's the proper way to handle it. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Pretty much nothing of any interest going on for the next several days until these things start happening. I have a terror The Love Interest will suddenly be unavailable Tuesday and say he'll reschedule and then never do it. Oh well, at least if that happens I'll have my answer without even having to ask the question, won't I?