Tomorrow

Bumpus' little back pack is all full of labeled clothes and ready to go tomorrow. I'm glad that I don't have to worry about his freaking out - I would be very nervous if I'd never left him before, or if this place and people were new to him. Still now that this much-anticipated moment is at last here, I do find myself a little contemplative.

This is the first official turning my child over to an institution, something most moms experience way earlier than me, even in those havens of generous maternity leave like Canada or Britain. It's been just me & Bumpus all day for two years and three months. That's a long time. But now I just have to trust this place - that they'll keep him safe, protect him from mean kids the way I would, feed him good food the way I would, keep his behavior in check the way I would. It's the first time I'm sharing parenting him, and it's weird.

On a darker note, leaving my child at a preschool a couple of days a week also means I'm exposing him to certain risks - while far less risky than every time I strap him in the car and drive out of our garage, still - there's a chance, although minuscule, that the place will fall victim to an epidemic, that some random angry person will wander in with a gun wanting to make a point, that an earthquake will hit and I won't be able to get to him. Yes. Any number of these things could happen. But as with everything child-related, you just have to cross your fingers and hope it doesn't happen to you. 

Today I nipped out for a couple of hours to get my teeth cleaned and left both kids with #1 babysitter, who has never handled both kids at once except when they were both asleep. I was delighted to return home and find Bumpus actually napping. He slept about an hour and a half, woke up exceptionally cranky (which I diffused with a long cuddle session), had dinner, then went back to bed. I have to admit right now that since transitioning to his toddler bed and his own room, I have not once even attempted to get him to nap at home. I just wouldn't even know how to do it - for how much time he spends in that room alone in the mornings and evenings, how can I put him in there in the middle of the day, too? So it's a combination of the guilt I feel for taking such liberties with his wake time and bed time, and just plain lack of knowledge how to actually make a nap happen, that's kept me from trying it. But oh, God, a mid-afternoon nap would be so amazing. Dare I try it, with preschool having nap time too? Can I? 

Thanks for all your suggestions on how to alleviate his rash. I've been using Vaseline, which seems to be slowly working - today was the first day there was no bleeding. They used A&D ointment on Saturday at the baby kennel (now preschool); maybe that started the road to healing and now the Vaseline is protecting the area so it doesn't get re-infected? Anyway, it's great seeing him not in so much pain in the mornings when I change that gross overnight diaper. Potty training can't come soon enough, if you ask me!