Wednesday, February 12, 2014

One more thing

So today I saw a new OB at Kaiser, just a one time thing as a fill in so I would see somebody this week and not skip a week. He was a nice man. But I got the worst news I personally could get at this point. My blood pressure is ticking up, and I have +1 protein in my urine. Which now flags me as at risk for pre-eclampsia. Again.

I am so sad/disappointed/angry about this new development I just want to cry. So I make it all this way, healthy, only to have everything fall apart in the last month - but not even late enough that I don't have to worry about being pushed into something too early. This couldn't have happened two weeks from now? Well, at least I don't see anyone again until I'm 37 weeks. I'm sure the other midwife will order a 24 hour urine catch...and may start those twice weekly NSTs again. Maybe I can hold out another week after. But oh my God, facing all that fear mongering and bullying again...honestly, I can't take it. I just can't. Only to end up with a fucking induction again anyway.

Today's doctor didn't seem concerned - he only brought it up when I asked about it. He said it is normal to have an uptick in blood pressure at this point (no shit), and suggested for peace of mind to buy a blood pressure cuff and test myself at home, which I plan on doing. 

Who knows what the protein is about. Dehydration maybe? Too much sugar this week, not enough protein in my diet? I can certainly work on those things in hopes of a better reading next week. Maybe I'm overreacting; maybe it's not going to be as bad as I think. I just wish to God I was further along. I would be so much less worried if I didn't still have a whole month of gestational development ahead of me. 

And let's face it - going into labor naturally is no guarantee of a better experience. I hold on to that in hopes of not having a repeat of last time's horror show...but just because the midwife and the doula tell me it's going to go better this time doesn't mean dick, really. Nobody knows. I just know I do not love the idea of spending the next two to four weeks being worried out of my mind and bullied. But, here we go, right?

And I have my (probably futile) MediCal meet tomorrow AM, and a mountain of math and paperwork to do tonight to prepare, which has to be done perfectly. I am so not up to any of this. Can I just zip ahead two months to when the baby's here and all this shit is behind me? Please???


  1. Keep in mind, "they" always say second labor progresses much quicker than the first....and this pregnancy has been very different from the start in comparison to your maybe it will end smoother too? Who knows, maybe you will cough after they prep you for delivery, and Theo will just pop out from the cough!!

  2. I don't know about protein specifically, but I know that blood and protein are sometimes used interchangably when talking about urine and I ALWAYS have a little bit of blood in my urine when it's tests... and it's far worse later in the day, if I'm even slightly dehydrated, if I've been "holding it" for the test and/or if I exercise before the test. Early morning urine that I collect as soon as I get out of bed has the best chance of being "clean". I have no idea how this affects the tests they run in pregnancy as mine have all been "normal" so far (which I wasnt expecting given that I always have blood in my urine, but I havent dug into exactly what normal means, etc. as I've had other fights to deal with when it comes to my midwives.

    I hope that you're able to find a way to enjoy your last month of pregnancy despite the worry. Hugs!

  3. It doesn't sound like it's very much protein in your urine (and yes, gravity can cause this) and yes, the end of pregnancy can cause an increase in BP, so try not to panic! Do all the stuff you are "supposed" to do to help -- eat tons of protein, drink lots of water, etc. And don't freak out just yet.

    Also, even if you do have it, surely it's a great thing that you got so far along without problems!

  4. It could even be that you didn't get a "clean" enough urine - my OB told me with my last pregnancy to make sure I continued to be obsessive about cleaning with the wipes before peeing in the cup, as a dirty specimen could also lead to a false positive for protein, and then I'd be stuck doing the 24 hour urine. My least favorite part of the OB visits was peeing in a cup!

    Hoping this was just a fluke and your next one is fine.

  5. Hang in there. Sending you good healthy vibes and will be thinking about you.