Sunday, March 31, 2013

Unexpected consequences

Ok. I've spent the whole day feeling like complete garbage. I woke up with a dark, crushing depression the likes of which I haven't felt in a very, very long time. But it's not related to anything...everything in my life right now is just dandy. I did a little googling, and you know what I think it is? I think it's hormonal shifts related to the weaning.

I'm so, so glad that I have awareness of things like this - that just because you feel depressed doesn't mean you have to go along with these feelings. I knew it had to be something hormonal because try as I might I couldn't put my finger on what was making me feel so lousy. I woke up to a chilly, overcast day, and that fact alone made me just want to pull the covers over my head and cry. What the f-?

So I did my Silverlake walk, did some housework, and now I'm watching documentaries about Monsanto. I have a fun gig tonight at one of my favorite Art Deco downtown venues. Everything is a-ok. Oh sure, I hardly made any money this month. I have to get my brakes done. My stupid ex- got engaged yesterday. But none of this should pull me down the rabbit hole. It's the hormones.

We're down to about two feeds a day. I am going to try to get B to eat a real dinner starting next week, to essentially cut the breast feeds even further. He really bites now which is very unpleasant - and tells me my supply has dropped precipitously. Thankfully B seems unperturbed by all this. I don't think the weaning process is going to be a big emotional thing for him; I just have to survive the crazy mood swings. But it's cool. Awareness is half the battle!


  1. Hormones suck sometimes. Hope you are feeling more like yourself soon.

  2. Hooray for awareness. Hope that things level out soon!

  3. You are right, awareness is half the battle. Hope you're feeling better.

  4. Hugs. I hope things shift back into balance hormonally soon. In the meantime, I'm glad you're clued into what's going on and taking care of yourself. You can do this!

  5. I've been feeling cranky lately and I think it's also related to weaning and hormones in flux. No advice, just commiseration.