As hoped, last night went better. I put B down in the crib with a blankie and a stuffed animal with the intention that he sleep (rather than letting him fall asleep when he felt like it), rubbing his belly and cooing to him until he slept. I don't think I've ever done that before - actually put an awake baby to sleep. It was fascinating watching his eyelids slowly shut.
Of course he woke an hour later, hysterical. But I laid him right down, and he stayed there, and fell asleep after about 20 minutes. He woke again for what used to be his nighttime feed time, 4 AM. But almost immediately went back to sleep. I decided 8:30 was as good a time as any to be up, so fed him. My boobs were suffering something awful from not having fed him in 10 hours or so - and unfortunately he has lately taken on the habit of biting down so hard on my right nipple that it was unbearable and I had to stop. I tried to bust out the old nipple shield, but he would have none of it. So I may have a problem on my hands. I may have to start using the pump for relief, which I did today. Although I do believe we're on the way to weaning. He doesn't seem that interested, and the teeth frigging HURT. And he's a year. It's time.
In the effort to entertain more, I am thinking of changing up my patio furniture. It's all filthy, warped, and in ill repair. I never want to go outside because there's nowhere clean to sit. Unfortunately, patio furniture is a fortune. Fortunately, there are places like Big Lots that have ridiculous deals. I can replace my six rickety wooden dining table chairs for $20 each. The only problem is getting them here. They also have an amazing modular sofa for outdoors which is a fraction of the cost of the usual outdoor sets. I could trick out my outdoor area and have groups out there instead of in my cramped house - but I'm reluctant to spend the money. Not until I get that "out of network" ER visit bill, which could be in the thousands. Ugh.
It's definitely on my mind that a year ago today I was in a terrible state - being pressured into inducing, worried about my health, terrified of what I was about to endure. Boy, if only I could have seen how well it would all turn out! At least that would have given me some small comfort.