Before need

I got news on Sunday that my little old lady friend, Jean, passed away just six weeks shy of her 99th birthday. She was the last of the original Lindy hoppers - being the youngest of the group and also the most long-lived, had its advantages. She’d been in declining health for the last couple of years and really had no quality of life - when I last visited a few weeks ago, it was the first time she was non-responsive. We all want long lives, but I’ve seen how with some of these folks in their late nineties it just gets to be torture; no faculties left, no mobility, struggling to eat or breathe. Personally, I’m happy for her. She was suffering terribly and was very much aware of what was happening to her. I cried a good cry for her as she’ll be very much missed - she loomed huge in the dance community - but I’m glad she’s at peace.

As she had no children, no real plans were made for her after death, so a friend and I jumped into action to see about getting her a spot at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery which she had expressed an interest in some years ago. We went there on Tuesday and reserved a spot, but we do have to crowdfund the $30,000 to pay for it and the extra fees involved in cremation, permits, transfers, etc. She’ll be in the Judy Garland Pavilion which is just so perfect. Every time I think about how perfect this is for her and how delighted she would be, I just squeal with joy. So the plan is to see how the fund goes and hopefully set something up for March 4 which would have been right after her birthday. I’m excited to give her a grand send off surrounded by friends and admirers. 

Since I had been considering a spot there for myself for some time, I spontaneously bought the small square next to hers, and my friend who’s spearheading the go fund me bought the large one to the left. I don’t often get sentimental about these things - after all, I’ll be dead - but the idea of missing out on getting the spot right next to Miss Jeannie filled me with a sense of urgency. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to pay for this - it has to be paid over 18 months - but I’ll find the money, even if it means borrowing from the erstwhile college fund I just set up and then slowly paying it back before they need it. Especially if my 25th anniversary event goes the way I think it will, it should be a snap to have it paid without borrowing at all. I feel very adult having done this. Most of my family has been dumped in Boston Harbor, but that isn’t right for me - my life has been here for a long time, and I feel at this point that there’s a chance people in 50 years who hear about our music or my event might be interested in looking me up. So now I’ll actually exist somewhere, even after I’m gone. There’s something comforting about that. And I also like that I’m securing a plan for myself so the boys don’t have to figure all this out. On the contract it said you’re either purchasing this “at need” or “before need”. I’m quite pleased to be “before need”. 

In other news, our outhouse is *nearly* complete - it’s fully operational, the guy just has to come back and anchor it. We can use it when we head out on Saturday. We’re doing a short trip since it’s going to be so cold. We need to get out there to train the security camera a little to the right so we can see the outhouse, maybe place the three final hammock poles, and bring the windows out of the shipping container that only we have keys to so in case our guy can spontaneously spend a day or two installing the five remaining windows, he’ll have access to them. Other than that we’re just going to freeze, since it’ll be 30s at night and low 50s in the day. Not looking forward to that. But very much looking forward to being out there after a two month break. 

Next up for me is plotting two separate birthday parties for the first time. Theo is still easy at nine - knows what he wants (rollerskate party) and has lots of friends to invite. That I can put in motion easily. Bobby is a little more complex at 11 - I’m thinking three or so friends for a day at an arcade and cake after, but I have to figure all that out. Tonight I’ll ask them for lists of people they want to invite and make sure what I envision for them is what they want. It’s going to be an expensive month.