A Bowie-sized hole in my heart

So, David Bowie died the other night. I know for many of you this was a quick "aw, that sucks," moment, and then on to other things. But for me it's been a pretty huge, heartbreaking event.

In talking at length about it with like-minded friends, I think our sorrow over the loss of this icon breaks down to a few things:

He made the weird feel accepted and wonderful

He broke ground in the area of gender fluidity

He was a true artist, unafraid to take chances, be ugly, be vulnerable, be romantic, be silly, and change at will

We all wonder if our kids will experience this level of artistry in their lives or if those days are behind us. Which saddens me.

Then again, I was obsessed with Bowie's early 70s work in the late 80s, so I guess there's no reason my kids couldn't enjoy non-contemporary music the same way I did. I think Bowie was the spirit animal for anyone who felt different, who had an artistic sensibility, who was a romantic, who liked to dream. And he wrote some of the most achingly beautiful music I've ever heard. We're all feeling the loss hard. I posted on Facebook that I feel like my childhood just died. Many people agreed with this.

Several people texted to ask if I was ok, which was sweet, and made me realize how vocal I've been in my fandom over the years. Next to The Beatles, my first obsession, Bowie was for sure on that list. And he's gone at the way too early age of 69. There's a Bowie-sized hole in my heart that nothing will ever fill.

In other news, Bobby started five day school yesterday. The fact that he is going back to school today after being there yesterday, is something I can't really wrap my head around. I thought so many times yesterday, as I always do on Mondays, "what the fuck am I going to do with these kids tomorrow?" that it makes me wonder how many times I thought this every week, and how much that must have added to my general stress levels. I have a lot to do this week - accounting stuff, mostly - but the fact that I have a couple of hours each day to do it, is amazing. Just wait until the little guy is there, too - oh my God!