Countdown

Nope. Not countdown to 2016...countdown to the beginning of my kid-free days. But I have a bit of a hurdle first. I have a lot of empty days with both kids and no plans - the next four days in a row (no school), then Tuesday and Thursday next week and all the following weekend. I've been frantically texting all day in an effort to set up play dates and get togethers, with some success. But I'll admit, all this upcoming unstructured time has me quaking in my boots a bit. Especially because it is likely to be uncomfortably cold/raining much of this time. 

What happens after, you ask? Bobby starts five day preschool on Jan 11, from 12:30-5:30 each day. Which means I will only be responsible to entertain two small children all day on weekends and holidays from now on. YES.

The Boyfriend unfortunately will not be available to help any time soon. I think he's gotten himself into a bit of a financial pickle because of Christmas and is now working long hours every day to make up for it. I feel a bit guilty as we both have our own businesses and yet I never seem to work at all and am living quite comfortably (this year, anyway), and he works his butt off and always seems to be broke. For now all I do is shrug and try not to pry too much into his affairs; until we're legally linked in some way, I consider that stuff his problem that he's just going to have to figure out on his own. I go back and forth between trusting that he got himself into some financial trouble and he's doing all he can to fix it, to worrying that he is not capable of fixing it because he's just not a financially astute person. He has told me repeatedly that he sucks at managing money and if we get together he wants to give me all his money and have me give him an allowance so he doesn't over spend, something I would be happy to do. So at least he's aware that he needs help. But for now - not my problem.

I did, however, take a big step forward today and hang up his pile of shirts in my closet and clear a drawer for him. I was reluctant to do this - because, you know...- but I realized it was either that or have my bedroom look like a Goodwill exploded in it at all times, which drives me nuts. 

Personally I am enjoying this time still living alone and being independent. I don't know how long it will go on - a few more months? A year? Forever? - but I am in no hurry to have him move in or get engaged or anything like that. I need more time. Thankfully he does, too, so we're on the same page there. I've already had my kids, so what's the rush?

For 2016 I will not make unrealistic demands on myself as far as resolutions; I have two small children, I will consider the year a success if we're all alive at the end of it. But here are some things I would really like to do (and it's ok if I don't):

Lose 5-10 pounds

Take up yoga again

Re-subscribe to The New Yorker

Engage in some home improvements, most notably switching rooms with B and moving T in with him and setting up a nice new bedroom for myself including a new, two person-friendly bed 

Set up an area for coats and bags in the house

Bring some order to my office, currently a catch-all junk room

What are your hopes for the new year? (I'd like to point out that my phone just autocorrected "hopes" to "herpes". All righty then.)