The dark side

Sometimes dating is going on a second date with someone you really like, groping each other all night, and having them slide their hands up your skirt on the street and loving it.

Sometimes dating is waiting all night for someone, starving because you didn't have dinner, then going home and grimly eating ramen noodles at midnight because they never showed.

That was my night last night. So we've hit a new first and all-time low. I have now been stood up. 

This guy who I had not met before said he'd come meet me to hear this band. He lives pretty far and it was Friday during rush hour, so on our way we were texting to check progress. And then at some point he just stopped answering me, and then never showed up. I can only guess he got fed up with the traffic and turned around and went home. But to not just say, "not going to make it in time, how about another night?" How fucking hard is that? I texted him, "well, I've never been stood up before. That was awesome." And went home and went to bed. Thank God this was something I was going to go to anyway, and all my friends were there so I had company. Had I been sitting alone in a restaurant I think I would have lost my shit. The depths people sink to while dating never cease to amaze me. 

Speaking of which, since I was already feeling shitty, I texted GAM on the way home, "well, it was nice knowing you." It's twelve hours later and nothing. Can you believe this shit?

I figure I'll give it until tonight and then one final text to tell him how disappointed I am and how I expected better than this. I believe it's important to call people on this kind of bullshit, because it is not acceptable. You don't get to feverishly make out with someone, make all kinds of plans, talk for hours on the phone, and then disappear without so much as a "this is too much for me right now" or "I'm sorry but I'm just not feeling it". The one time I got to tell this guy some years ago as he dumped me that I felt like he was emotionally unavailable, had wasted my time and toyed with me, and that he made me feel shitty and unloved, made me feel great. 

I won't be ignored, Dan!

Not answering someone before you've even met, or after one or two dates in which there's been little or no physical contact I believe is ok. In those cases I'd rather be left wondering than told "I decided I just don't find you that attractive." But once there's been full make out sessions and plans made and discussions about being in a relationship - yeah, you need to talk to the person if you're about to bow out. That's just common courtesy.

So, yeah. Definitely not a good couple of days for me. I meet a new guy tomorrow, then a second date on Tuesday, maybe another new guy later in the week. But that's it. No other prospects. Not sure if this dating thing has become played out. We'll see. Pretty deflated at the moment, though.