For the record, potty training is not one of those things. I had Bobby in underpants for one and a half days and all that happened was he repeatedly peed his pants and seemed to show zero understanding that he needed to tell me first, no matter how many times I walked him through the "underpants rules." Flummoxed, I wrote what happened on one of my Facebook mom groups, and everyone chimed in that he did not seem ready. I agreed and immediately put him in a diaper, which he asked for. So, big, fat, fucking fail there. Sigh. Oh well. At least I don't have to completely change all of our routines just yet. It's kind of a relief.
But today something crazy and wonderful happened. I was at a splash pad with a friend when a woman approached me and introduced herself. She had a cute toddler girl with her. She said she reads my blog and had recognized Bobby playing in the water. I thought, hey, cool!
Then she told me we used the same donor.
Apparently she and her partner saw my post on the Donor Sibling Registry, googled my email, and found my blog. They are the proud parents of twin girls.
Bobby and Theo's half-sisters.
I was psyched. I think I've written here how much I'd love to connect with this donor's other families. No hits on the DSR but I guess just because nobody emailed me doesn't mean they're not out there!
We exchanged numbers but I understand that people have different ideas about this sort of thing - especially when there's a relationship to consider - it's a big door to open. I put this on my Smc Facebook group and surprisingly some of the women said they'd be "creeped out" if this happened to them. I guess I can see that, but I'm so not like that. I mean, you people have read all about my petty jealousies, my multitudinous parenting fails, my adolescent crushes, my crazy parents - you know the consistency of my cervical fluids, for crying out loud. If it's about maintaining some vestige of privacy or dignity, that ship has long ago sailed.
After the introduction, every once in a while Bobby would run by the little girl or sit near her, and I would think, "yup, that's your sister." "Yeah, sister again."
Crazy.
I'm tempted to say she (they) resembled Theo a bit with the soft coloring - blue eyes, light brown/reddish hair. Once again confirming the fact that Bobby is all me and Theo is mostly donor. It does make you wonder if I have ever been in the same place as other half-siblings...or the donor himself-!
So, that happened today. Still reeling and using the excuse to not get any work done tonight and instead eat two ice cream sandwiches and some popcorn.
In other news, Theo is off the boob. He does not like it. I am waiting for my boobs to fill up with cement rocks and then whither away to sad little collapsed spaniel ears for the rest of my life. Please tell me they come back. Please.
I am beyond excited about meeting with the podcast guy in a couple of weeks. I may have to bone up a little on the details before I speak to him - honestly, I've forgotten so much about my former religion and how painful it was to be in it, and pull away from it. It's kind of all a blur, pushed away to make room for more important things in my life.
So cool about the donor siblings! Elsie has a very active group. Right now we know of 20 kids. We are having a week-long "reunion" this summer. That should be an event!!
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile there is a mom who while she contacted us once, has never been in contact again. So I think these relationships can be whatever you (all the moms, in your case) make of it.
Woah, crazy! I always wondered what I would do if I ended up in the same place as any birth family members, who I would only recognized from online stalking. That's exciting for you guys!
ReplyDeleteWow! That's pretty random (or stalkerish-- haha! Totally kidding) to run into a donor sibling. What are the chances of that happening? Wild! As far as potty training, are you putting him on the potty regularly every two hours? I was told not to do "official" potty training until he stayed dry for at least two hours at a time all day long for over a week. This way I knew Sidekick had control of his bladder. Hang in there! He won't be wearing diapers when he's seven year old! :)
ReplyDeleteThat is SO cool! I was an egg donor, to a same sex couple, and a hetero couple. My daughters have two sets of boy/girl twins from this. They LOVE it, and find it so cool watching the one set grow up on FB. The one set is open, and the other essentially no contact/anonymous. I've met the set of twins and it is a unique dynamic all around. Life that comes from these situations are given a different set of identity issues, but I firmly believe it's what the parent(s) make it. Life is enriched by connections all around us, and connections with half siblings I think are more than included in that!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this :)
What an amazing story!!! I can't believe you just randomly happened to be in the same place as this donor sib family, and the mom recognized you from reading your blog. W.O.W. I'm not creeped out by it, because it's something I would do (googling an email address and reading the blog I found). :) So cool! I hope it turns into an amazing relationship all around, assuming that's what you want.
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