Final desert trip of the year

2025 is over in just a couple of days. Tomorrow morning we leave for a week in Florida with my extended family, then return to about five more days at home before school starts up again. I also have a price increase / contest opening on Feb 1 that I have to start advertising. That moment - when usually people pile in to get the last of the early bird prices - should give me some indication of how my year is going to go financially. I’ve been putting off booking anything for our proposed Colorado road trip this summer until I get a better picture of what’s going to happen. As of right now, I’m behind last year, although not by much. Still, my prediction, with all the uncertainty and instability and hostility towards tourists, is that I will lose another 100 people this year. I already built in a price hike in anticipation of this. But that’s what I’m preparing for. There’s no way this gets better. 

The H bought me a crocheted 2025 dumpster fire for Christmas which I will hang on the tree next year alongside the felt 2020 dumpster fire I made. It’s hard to say this year was worse than 2020; I think it was just so different, it’s impossible to compare. In 2020 we faced a random, massive global biological threat, but one that would in fact end, leaving the vast majority of us unscathed albeit at least somewhat forever changed. This year we faced an equal global threat all in the form of one smelly orange-faced failed real estate developer from Queens (and those who use/enable him). This, too, will end, leaving us mostly unscathed but forever changed. I doubt he will be alive this time next year; or, if alive, so far down the dementia hole that he’s no longer presentable and will either be largely hidden while Steven Miller enacts his Nazi fantasies and JD Vance feels up Erika Kirk. Oh, that’s one thing that could happen next year that would make me happy - Usha Vance leaving his lame failed drag queen ass. But, I digress.

None of us has the slightest idea what will happen next year; things have never been more uncertain. For us, as a family, here’s what I hope for/predict: I hope the H’s efforts to expand his business and make more money are successful. I hope his new health insurance starting on Jan 1 helps him stay healthy. I hope Bobby transitions well to high school and starts to get a glimmer of a career path. I expect Theo to change dramatically this year the way Bobby did at twelve - it’s funny to think that by next December Theo could have facial hair and big shoulders and a big boy voice. Right now he’s still all of our baby; he’s still little. But that will soon end. I have feelings about this. 

I hope my event goes smoothly and makes enough money for us to survive another year. It would be great if I didn’t lose more people, but I know I need to be realistic. For me, personally, after several months of not weighing myself (unheard of) and eating whatever I want, I’m sure I’ve gained about 10 lbs, and I was overweight to begin with. So I’ve set the usual goal of starting calorie restriction in January in an attempt at losing it all again. I am dreading it. But it has to happen - once again I’m down to 10% of my wardrobe fitting, and I hate the way I look in just about everything. So, here we are again.

Also? My period is now nearly three weeks late (also…unheard of). I keep thinking this is it - I’m finally in menopause - but the amount of bloating and cramping I’ve had for weeks tells me I will eventually get this period, that maybe after years of periods sometimes every three weeks that I may be entering a phase where I start skipping months. I mean, shit, I’m turning 54 this summer, this has to be wrapping up soon. But it may still be a while.

We had a pretty damned magical weekend in the desert right after Christmas. We bought the boys a basketball hoop and it kept them occupied, which is all we want out there - healthy outdoor activities, as opposed to lying around in stinky robes watching idiotic YouTube shorts all day like they do at home. Next visit we’ll go to the sand dunes and try out their (free) snowboard for sand boarding. Hopefully that will be a hit. I’m planning an epic inexpensive spring break visit out there for end of March. I’m glad we have a free place to get away.

Pre-Christmas trip

I just returned from a quick pre-Christmas trip with a friend who had vacation days to use up and was willing to risk the adventure of heading out to Death Valley Junction with me, a place the family visited a couple of times during covid and that I’ve been wanting to see again. In particular, the spectacular Amargosa Opera House, which I have a half-baked plan to host a small dance event at. 

Part of this trip was leaving the kids alone all day for three days, which meant them making breakfast and lunch for themselves until dad could get home to make dinner each night. It’s another step in their independence, and something I wouldn’t have dreamed of attempting a year ago. Needless to say, they were fine.

We drove out Monday and stopped by a place I’ve always wanted to see, Elmer’s Bottle Tree Ranch off the 15 north.

Next, we made our way to Death Valley Junction for our stay at the Amargosa Opera House and hotel. The place was a bit more run down than when we last stayed here in I think 2022 - and it was run down then! Two big floods this year wore away at the 100 year old Adobe, making it look on the verge of collapse in several places, and it smelled of mildew everywhere. Our toilet hardly flushed, so we mainly used the lobby toilet which worked a little better. We did a tour of the opera house itself. I was glad to see the floor had been largely repaired, and the murals were intact, but it was obvious to me that the whole facility is too ramshackle at this point to safely host a big group of dancers. It’s really a shame, because it’s such a special place and could probably be completely rehabbed for just a few million. It’s one of those times I wish I was rich and could just throw money at a place like that and save it from decline. 

The next day we went to the China Ranch Date Farm and soaked in the Tecopa hot springs (partially roped off for vole habitat restoration), but decided to drive out that night to get ahead of the massive rain storm that could have trapped us out there over Christmas. I had a harrowing four hour drive in the dark - not what I had been planning - but made it with only the last half hour in some light rain. It’s been pouring all day. I think we made the right decision. 

Now, on to Christmas stuff. Tonight we have our traditional Jewish Christmas Eve Chinese food with a friend, then tomorrow we’ll just be home all day. Then we leave for the final cabin visit of the year (it’ll be dry but cold) and then we leave for Florida. Never a dull moment!

On a tear

I don’t know if it’s panic over Christmas bringing more unwanted crap into the house, the sudden understanding that my kids aren’t little anymore, or what, but I’ve been on a tear the last couple of weeks to purge the house of all unnecessary things. Which means mostly things the kids have now definitively outgrown. 

I must have done this when the kids passed babyhood - I remember jettisoning all the breast pump parts, baby clothes and piles of plastic crap; clearing the attic of all their toddler toys and putting them on the street for passers-by to take (and infuriatingly someone insisting on putting them all in my recycle bin - which I would remove them from, only to have them inexplicably dumped back in). I have to admit that was a much taller task - the kids don’t have many toys left, now, since the VRs and IPads took over a few years ago. But I’m cleaning more than just their stuff. It’s a general going-over of just about every part of the house, some of which have been neglected for over a decade. 

A couple of weeks ago I cleaned out all my drawers and closet, tackled both bathrooms (throwing away two garbage bags of expired unused COVID tests, baby medicines, and discarded hair products), organized and scrubbed kitchen drawers and pantry, and started on the office. This week I’ve done a little of everything - weeded out kids’ craft supplies, cleaned out the insanely packed and disorganized hallway closet, cleared out my vintage closet, and started on the office and attic. Mostly what’s happened is I’ve just pulled things out of drawers and closets and left them hanging around the living room to force me to deal with it all. I’ve done tons of goodwill donations (clothes), but the more unique things I’ve been trying to give away on my BuyNothing group, with mixed results (it’s shocking how many people never show up to collect their items). I’m not even bothering trying to sell anything. Nothing is worth any money - if it were, I’d probably be keeping it. 

I currently have two giant boxes of board games down on the street that nobody has touched. I put them in the trunk of my car overnight so the runoff from the sprinklers doesn’t ruin them. 

It’s amazing how much work managing stuff is. I’d like to blame the other three people in this house - and for sure, many of the newer items belong to them - but it doesn’t change the fact that I lived here alone for eleven years before Bobby showed up, followed by his brother and father, and I’m the carrier of three generations of stuff, none of which I can feasibly get rid of because it’s all so old and who am I to throw these things in a Los Angeles trash can apropos of nothing after they’ve survived countless moves for a hundred years or more? So I kick that can down the road, move the oldest boxes up to the attic to make room for things I actually need to access occasionally, like wrapping paper and chargers and curlers. 

Today I took a 20 lb box of sensitive paperwork to the shredder - I believe that finally leaves me with only one box of tax stuff, and once enough time passes that I can shred that, too, the era of keeping boxes of receipts is officially over; everything is online now and I’ve gone paperless with all my accounts, so no more boxes of paper sitting around as a bulwark against the tax audit that never comes. 

I have some musical instruments to donate, and probably some more books. I have a couple of decades of e-waste to dump at the appropriate facility - several generations of Rokus and routers and burglar alarm batteries and cords. I also have about 30 full to nearly dry cans of paint littering the back yard that I also want to send to said facility the next time I’m available between 9 AM - 3 PM on a Saturday (probably not until mid-January). 

I no longer need the kids’ Easter baskets or the giant container of plastic eggs we used to use for Easter egg hunts; we’re pretty much always on some sort of spring break trip on Easter now, and in fact only even notice it’s Easter because In-N-Out is closed. I’ve decided we’re not wrapping presents this year since I discovered we have about 50 Christmas gift bags in a plastic tub. I also have several boxes of party supplies to gift out. I should be able to clear about half the attic with just those things gone alone. 

I’ve officially packed away all my skiing gear and will be gifting my scuba stuff that I used once before quitting. I also made some vintage suitcases into my dance costume holders - all the costumes from all my dance contests and routines will go there, if anyone ever cares to look for them. Those things don’t need to hang in my closet - I’ll never wear them again. 

I’m feeling ruthless and determined, and that’s the best way to tackle these difficult and emotional projects. You have to be in the mindset I’m in now - the kids are growing up, they’re not little anymore, so it’s time to rid ourselves of childish things. It’s time to make the house functional for who we are today - a family of four with a teenager and a near teenager. I want to go into 2026 fresh and new. This was a horrendous year - on par with 2020, if not worse, and we need things to be revitalized. 

Still lots to do, and I doubt I’ll get it all done in just a few days, especially with Christmas week barreling down on us which involves me gone for three days to Death Valley Junction with a friend, then off to the cabin for a weekend, then home for one day before we take off to Florida for a week. Everything will have to get put on hold. But I feel good about how much I’ve gotten done already. 

The boys have one more day of school. Bobby is begging to not have to go tomorrow. He and his girlfriend broke up. Once again, I found out because of his bracelet, or lack thereof. I noticed he wasn’t wearing it and he admitted they’d broken up. He said it was mutual - that she said he doesn’t talk enough, and he was annoyed that she was good friends with some MAGA kid at school everyone hates. My impression of the whole relationship was that he was just along for the ride - she approached him, after all; I don’t think he was ever that into it, and it showed. I don’t think they really had anything in common, and she just liked the idea of having a boyfriend. They’re only 13 - none of these things are wrong - I’m just glad it ended without hurt feelings. It will be weird when one of these kids really gets their heart broken. Not looking forward to that at all. 

Will Trump be dead the next time I write here?? I feel like this could happen at any moment. Honestly, lately I’m actually wishing he won’t die right away - I’d so much rather he live long enough to see consequences for his multitudinous crimes.

Holiday trifecta part 3

For once we had a really nice chill Thanksgiving. The last two years we did big projects - moving furniture to the cabin one year, upgrading the boys’ room the next, and years before that traveling like gangbusters. This time we just drove out to Spaghetti Western without a reservation (nobody ordered the Thanksgiving food, which I thought was hilarious), spent a day in the Mojave National Preserve (one of my favorite places!), plumbed the sink, and then drove home. It was very relaxing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It made me feel less guilty about not participating in any Thanksgiving traditions anymore - a few years ago I was decided I was done with all that, for many reasons; a) I’m a vegetarian and hate the food, b) problematic in-laws, c) icky colonialism. I do sometimes miss it, and wonder if things might change if my sister moves here. But then I remember if I want to do a big elaborate meal, I can always do that at Christmas, and we’re seeing the whole family over new year’s in Florida anyway.

We took two giant leaps in the desert - one, getting the shower properly set up and using it (the portable dog groomer water heater I bought years ago finally had a dead battery from lack of use and couldn’t be revived, so I bought a new portable water heater that uses D batteries and it worked great) and then getting the kitchen sink plumbed, which happened on the last day so I still squatted on the ground washing dishes in a basin the first two days and never really got to use it, but still. Things are about to get a lot more sophisticated out there, and I love it. Having a working hot shower also means I’ll be more likely to invite friends. 

The kids have two more weeks of school before their break. I’m struggling to figure out gifts for them - Bobby is easy because he always makes a long list (at his age it’s all clothes and electronics - which is great, except we can’t afford the electronics and he really should pick his clothes out himself). Theo has no idea what he wants, so at this point I’m just improvising - I figure he could use a new, better robe than the one I got him last year, and some pajama pants he can wear around the house, and a Lego set (a nice bonsai tree I can display), and we’re looking into used snowboards for both boys to use sand surfing at the Kelso dunes which they seem especially keen about doing (after they got to do it at the pink sand dunes in Utah last year). We’re also going to get a basketball hoop for the desert. As you can imagine, boredom is a huge issue out there so we’re desperate for things for them to do. But, no joke, buying presents for these kids at this age is hard. Unless it’s computers or iPhones they don’t really care. It’s the first year I’m really struggling. 

I’m obsessed with figuring out an off-grid hot tub for us for the desert. It would be amazing to have a nice long soak out there on a cold winter night. I’ve been scouring YouTube videos and Reddit threads, mostly populated by Mormon preppers. Right now it seems the best, cheapest solution would be a galvanized stock tank (well insulated) with copper coiling set up in a chiminea. It would take a lot of maintenance - at least a couple of hours of tending the fire and stirring the water. But if we’re just out there hanging out anyway, why not…? Still a lot more research to do. Every time I think I’ve found the perfect set up, something cheaper and better presents itself. It’s not something I would want to seriously look into until next fall anyway. 

Today we’re going to do Christmas stuff. It always feels a bit late a week into December, but with my schedule shaping up to be night before Thanksgiving gig, then drive out to the desert on Thanksgiving, I’d really rather stay until Sunday night rather than come home a day early just to do lights and a tree. I’ve got my cards out, ordered a photo Christmas ornament, made all the photo books of our trips, ordered some gifts, and started plans for candy making which I’ll do next week. Everything is in order. I’ve also been strangely energized to start purging different parts of the house - I’ve purged all my clothes, gone through cabinets in both bathrooms, cleaned out kitchen drawers. Next I’d like to tackle the hallway closet (full of abandoned board games and vhs tapes), the office (tons of e-waste I need to find an event to dispose at), and a couple of pieces of furniture in the living room that have become the “I don’t know where to put this” depositaries. It’s amazing how fast a small house fills up with crap when four people live in it. I’m in a ruthless mood, though - everything must go - which is the right mood for this project. I’m seeing the writing on the wall - these kids are growing up - so it’s time to get rid of the baby spoons and carriers and car seat travel bags and boosters. On to the next phase.