October desert visit

Just returned from our October desert visit. The weather was absolutely perfect, which made me that much sadder that we weren’t able to go at all the rest of the month. October and April are really prime time out there. 

We listened to game 1 of the World Series on the radio in the car on the way out. I’m not at all a sports fan, but I have to admit, being in east LA just minutes from Dodgers Stadium and having my hometown team (Yankees) vs the Dodgers this year is pretty thrilling, so I’ll be paying attention. I’ll never forget how we listened to the Dodgers World Series win on the radio in the car in an In-N-Out parking lot at the height of covid in 2020.

This weekend was surprisingly productive despite the goal of just being relaxing. We met with a water hauler who gave us lots of good advice on how to set up our gifted tanks, so I think we could be getting that set up in maybe a couple of visits, which would be life changing. In anticipation of that, the H built a shower corral on the side of the container, working all day in the hot sun yesterday. We just need a couple more panels of wood and some finishing touches (hooks, bench, place to hang the shower head) to make it workable. And of course the water. 

We had another lovely night under the stars in hammocks roasting marshmallows and also went to the Palms for a wacky music festival. I just love that place. It really is the desert equivalent of the East Village. We’re starting to be recognized there by the staff which is very gratifying.

Friday we had Theo’s Halloween carnival, for which I made the wise choice this year to donate items rather than volunteer (I still have ptsd from my stint as treasurer at the boys’ old school). It was funny how this time, Theo ran off with his friends while Bobby stuck to me like glue (because he didn’t know anyone there anymore, mostly). I asked him if it was weird to be at his old school, and he said yes. 

This week I’m going full bore into starting up my podcast again, but the takers have been few (I advertised in my FB group but only a couple of people have responded, so I’m guessing it may be a short season). I’ll just see how it goes. 

Now I have the complicated work of putting together my teacher lineup for my event, which I have to say gets more difficult every year. This year I have zoom meetings and consultations involved - it’s a big deal. The puzzle pieces will eventually fall into place, but right now everything is up in the air, and I’m going to have to let some people go, which sucks. 

Spooktacular times coming

We all survived the Vegas wedding. I looked like the late queen of England, and I’m ok with that. The boys were perfectly content with us frisbeeing a pizza at them in between the wedding and reception; we even tossed it in the room while yelling, “pizza!” in a creepy voice and shut the door - but they didn’t even notice because they were both on their VRs. Well, Bobby noticed, only to text us a laugh emoji. I was reminded of my loathing of Las Vegas - I wasn’t exaggerating how much I despise the place, being as it’s all about things that mean nothing to me; gambling, alcohol, and red meat. No thank you. Spent all week recovering, yet again, and have been massively procrastinating on a few event-related projects that I just never have the energy for. Bleh.

Bobby has a community service requirement at this school - five hours per semester - and last night we did half of it. One of my oldest dance friends runs a non-profit to make and distribute burritos to unhoused folks on LA’s skid row. I’ve donated to them from time to time, and always meant to go join in and volunteer, but this requirement finally got me to actually make a plan and go. I was very apprehensive - my general terror of interacting with new people was at an all-time high - but luckily we spent the hours making the burritos and didn’t make it to downtown (gotta be honest - skid row is pretty gnarly). The boys pitched in and did great - it didn’t hurt that the first person we saw was the boys’ babysitter who apparently volunteers every month. It was tiring, but I enjoyed it, and hopefully the boys will get a sense of satisfaction about it even though it’s not as fun as video games. I figure we’ll just do this every couple of months or so; I told another parent in case they were looking for volunteer opportunities for their kid, too. It’s not often I get parenting wins, but I feel like this was one.

Oh, and Bobby got straight A’s this semester so far. So I guess that’s two.

Tomorrow we have a Spooktacular day planned - pumpkin patch in the morning (sadly, the donor sibs couldn’t join us this time, but we’re going to try to get together this December), then costume shopping, then the puppet show (I had asked the boys if they were still interested in going to this, and Bobby immediately said, “YES. HOW IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION.”). Bobby decided he wasn’t too keen on being a plague doctor, so we returned his costume - I think he was weirded out by the bird beak mask (in my opinion, the best part). I hope to find something suitably ridiculous for myself. 

And so begins the Holiday Trifecta. We’ll have a nice night of trick or treating in Eagle Rock as we’ve done the last few years, then for Thanksgiving week we’ll remodel the boys’ room, then at Christmas we’ll go to Utah and hike The Wave (planning and booking this trip is another thing I’ve been grossly procrastinating about). In the meantime I’ve got an event to plan and hiring and firing to do. 

I had my annual checkup, which went well. I don’t know if I started the conversation but we pretty much spent the entire visit talking about menopause (which I’m not in yet). That topic really does take over your whole life when you’re in your fifties. My doctor is not opposed to HRT, nor am I, but I wouldn’t do it unless the symptoms were really unbearable. According to this week’s Science Vs. podcast, although HRT has gotten a bad rap in the past, there still are some risks (breast cancer, heart attacks). It seems like it’s a “how bad is it that you’re willing to accept this small risk”-type situation. How bad, indeed. Only time will tell. For now, these slightly irregular periods, having long outgrown their use, continue to be a nuisance. 

Here we are being volunteer-type people. 

Fear and loathing in LV

Tonight we head out to Las Vegas for friends’ destination wedding. I’ve known the groom since he was a young teenager some 25 years ago, and the bride from a few years after that. 

This whole trip is a bit slap-dash and I’m afraid I’m going to regret how little thought or planning I’ve put into it - other than obsessive-compulsively shopping all week for an outfit and coming up empty. I did get us a hotel room some months ago, but other than that there’s nothing planned or packed. The wedding happens at a chapel and then we drive somewhere else for the reception; we’re going to leave the kids in the hotel room all day, which I don’t feel great about, only to make a pit stop between wedding and reception to throw a pizza in their faces and leave them for a few more hours. We’ll see how all this goes. 

After trying on countless modern and vintage things - the dress code is blingy glitzy Vegas - I admitted failure and instead went with a tried and true 1940s look which is really the only way I know how to dress up. I’m old, and my body is in no shape to wear something clingy and sexy and good for a hot summer wedding. Maybe twenty years ago, but not now. My other similarly aged friend said she’s afraid she’s going to look like a nun compared to everyone else. I definitely feel that. But I’m just going to do the old tactic I developed in junior high when I realized I was too poor to compete with the rich girls and their Benetton and swatches - just don’t even try; do something completely weird and different. So I’ll wear one of my favorite pink 1940s dresses and a fabulous feathered hat and that’ll be that. 

One of the H’s co workers died suddenly last weekend, so he has the funeral today and then we’ll head out later tonight, probably rolling in around midnight if we’re lucky. Then tomorrow’s the long wedding day, then a kid-friendly pool party on Sunday and then we get home. 

For me, now on my third weekend out of town in a row, I am utterly thrashed - yesterday I crashed so hard I canceled my yoga class and just took a two hour nap in the middle of the day. I’d also gotten my flu shot earlier which may have been a contributing factor to my complete exhaustion. But I’m wrecked. All I’ve been able to do for the last three weeks is get home from a trip, do laundry and groceries, pack and unpack and then pack again and head out for the next trip. It’s taking a big toll.

Bobby’s orthodontist says she wants him to start “treatment” early next year - which means braces or Invisalign - before his bite becomes too set. So, that’s happening. Luckily Theo can wait so it doesn’t all happen at once. They have their doctor appointments in a couple of weeks, and I had mine yesterday, scheduled my long overdue first colonoscopy for January. 

And of course the elephant in the room of all this is our big (and possibly final) election looming just three weeks and change away. My confidence has waned quite a bit in the last couple of weeks - we’re at such a stalemate at this point that I now think there’s a good chance that the unthinkable will happen and the Orange one will win. In which case, I say what I said back in 2016, that we’ve proven we’re too stupid for democracy. If people really think the Democrats cause hurricanes and people really believe the Republicans aren’t gunning to remove women’s rights, then I just fucking give up. This is my way of emotionally preparing myself for the worst. I hope I’m wrong, I really do. I filled out and mailed my ballot the day I got it - not that my California vote means much - and got the text that it was recorded and counted. Here we go!

Spooky season

I love how Halloween is no longer just a day but a whole season. Yesterday on the 1st I did my annual Halloween decorating, just bought Bobby’s costume (plague doctor), and am planning on volunteering for Theo’s fall festival at the end of the month. If it weren’t nearly 100° today and for the whole next week, it would almost feel like fall.

I’m one third of the way through my trifecta of weekend trips - survived Chicago last weekend, now on to Eureka, CA on Friday and then a destination wedding in Vegas the weekend after. I’m slowly starting to engage in household projects - today I sifted through a giant tub of 20 year old tax stuff, throwing away most of it but shredding anything with sensitive information. Next week I’d like to start moving some of the family pictures out of the boys’ room (I don’t know if my soon-to-be teenagers necessarily need photos of their great-grandparents hanging on their walls - that seems like a powder room thing) in preparation for their big room transformation, and framing some art that’s been sitting around, some to take to the desert (prints) and some to hang here (originals). There are so many house projects - once again, every room, closet and drawer in this house needs a complete clean out and overhaul - but I’m just going to tackle one small thing at a time. These are the kinds of things my brain has room for once my event is over.

Yesterday marked the first 1st of the month that I haven’t had a mortgage payment. The silence on my bank account transactions was deafening. I also added the boys to my payroll as a way to save on taxes and put money away for school, as recommended by my accountant, so that process has at long last begun. 

In a strange turn of events, about 10 days after I got an email from KIA USA about my car now having a “case” opened about the battery issue, and not hearing anything during that time, I suddenly got a call from the dealer that my car had been fixed and was ready for pick up. Umm, what? So yeah. Got my car, turned in the loaner (they were unphased by the broken lock, thank god), and after nearly three months, it was all over. Weird! So a big exhale there - hopefully I can just drive this car into the ground and live payment-free for at least a few more years.