Sunday, January 26, 2014

A shower for Theo

Today's shower (or "sprinkle" as it was called) was perfectly delightful. I attribute this to the good friends who took the time to throw together this party for me...and me going in with what I'd like to call "managed expectations".

Showers are a funny animal. Existing entirely in the realm of the female, they exist to celebrate two of the major milestones in a woman's life - marriage and childbearing. Since usually they have to be thrown for you and you can't really ask someone to do such a thing, you are in the awkward position of waiting around for someone to volunteer. You may supply the guest list, but usually you have very little control over what happens - no clue as to who's actually showing up, what activities are planned, food served, etc. One sticking point for me was the fact that the person in charge of invites had decided to not include my registry info on the (emailed) invitations; when enough people had asked me if I needed anything and did I have a registry, I innocently asked the invite person if they could just email everyone with the link to my registry, assuming it had been forgotten. She responded that it "just wasn't done" for a second shower and that she would tell anyone who asked and to not worry about it. Hmmm. 

As the weeks went by I was still getting lots of emails, texts, etc from people saying, "there's no registry, right? You don't need anything right?", so I decided to take matters into my own hands and email everyone the registry info myself. Before you think me a grasping whore, keep in mind the following: I am the poorest I've been in 13 years and can't even pay my bills at the moment, and I gave away all of my baby stuff, like really important, not cheap stuff like swings and breastfeeding pillows and bouncy chairs (like a idiot). I also have massive, giant tubs of baby clothes, and the idea of everyone thinking I had no registry and so instead buying me outfits was enough to send me into hysterics. So, that's a little background on that.

Then in the last week I personally had gotten so many "sorry, I can't make it" emails, texts, etc from people that I really began to wonder if anyone was going to show up. It just sucked because I had cut the guest list so severely at the request of the organizers - and wasn't able to include any of my new friends I've made since B was born; SMC friends, mommy group friends, etc. Had I known how many people would ditch out at the last minute I wish I could have included some more people that I really wanted there. 

So I got myself all worked up about it this week. You have no idea. I scarcely wanted to mention it for fear of sounding selfish and ungrateful - I've seen what happens to women who complain about their showers on my WTE app; they get torn limb from limb! But I think it's ok to admit I kind of freaked out a little bit this week. The whole thing just had this "it's your second kid, who cares" feeling about it and it was bumming me out. 

However, a little attitude adjustment on my part (much like when I go into one of my lesser attended dance events, I make a promise to myself to honor and appreciate the people who did care enough and make the effort to show up, rather than being bitter over those who didn't), and the day turned out to be really lovely. Yes, a lot of people weren't there - but a lot were, and it was beautiful and charming and everyone mixed well and the gifts weren't completely overwhelming and I did feel very loved, which is what showers are (supposed to be) all about. 

Being broke, as mentioned, I was unable to get gift cards and make nifty little gift bags for all the organizers (I spent over $200 on this last time), but I did write heart felt thank you cards and made jars of chocolate covered coconut balls as a thank you. I even colored them pink to make them all fancy. 

There are lots of photos that will be sent to me later, but for the sake of expediency I will just post the ones I took (or are on my phone). We had an owl theme and I am positively buzzing from the Trader Joe's fruit chocolates on the tables. Zzzzing!


  1. Looks like a wonderful time, the owl decorations are adorable!

  2. LOVE the owl theme! And looks like you still had a great turn out - so glad you had fun. :)

    I'm amazed by how much stuff I actually NEED - and I was planning on two all along. It's a little overwhelming - I was so grateful for the shower I had at work.

  3. My whole experience with the baby shower thing really bummed me out, so I can really relate to wanting to celebrate something with people and not having control. It's great that it ended up going well. You'll have to let me know what big things you still need. I have a few things left I could give/loan if it would help.

  4. Looks like a beautiful shower!! I'm glad it turned out so well.

  5. Looks like you were surrounded by a lot of love!

  6. You look FAB-U-LOUS!!! Love your dress & hair. If it helps, I got in a huge fight with one of my best friends the morning of my shower (she is divorced & childless & drove all the way from SF).....AND my closest sister refused to throw one for me...what I mean is...ugh, showers are emotional and overwhelming....and then add in hormones. Hope you are feeling good, you look great! :)

  7. Looks like a great turn out to me. You must have a LOT of friends if this is only, heh, a sprinkling of them.

    Glad you could appreciate the good and leave the bad at the door.

  8. What a great picture of a large crowd of your friends! Glad you felt celebrated and hope you get some useful stuff off of your registry too.

  9. I'm sorry you freaked out about the shower, but it seems like all was well in the end. I'm absolutely in love with the owl theme!!! I've been really into owls lately for some reason, and these decorations are so cute! I'm glad it went well and you had a nice time. Hope you got some good things off your registry in the end, too!