My dream was to be able to sign off on the remaining vial(s) while having a healthy pregnancy under my belt, and I have achieved this dream. And that's something to sit with for a minute, right there. I could have given them up after coming to the conclusion that one child was best for me. I could have given them up, heartbroken, after a loss, thinking I wouldn't want to try again. I could have had to make this decision months ago when the pregnancy was so new anything could have happened. But no. I get to sign off happily and with no reservations, with a solid pregnancy. Naturally the old fatalist in me thinks, "now this is when something will go wrong," but I'm going to chase those thoughts away, because whether something goes wrong now or not, it certainly won't be because I signed my name to a piece of paper today.
In other news, we're having sleep problems and food problems. It may be related to MY general laziness and crappy post-event schedule, but B rarely wants to eat lunch; I can't seem to find anything he doesn't want to just play with. Dinners have been hard, too...until tonight, when I made him his favorite curry which he gobbled up. He's woken about three nights since the event crying hysterically; I tried to pull him into my bed last night but he almost took a header off the side so I put him back in the pack-n-play, which resulted in more crying, but just for a couple of minutes. I think if this happens again I'll try to just comfort him while keeping him in the p-n-p; it's safer. He is cutting lots of teeth all at once right now so he's probably pretty uncomfortable, poor thing.
I had my handyman over for an estimate on building a room for B; it came in right where I thought. It could take up to three weeks(!) which doesn't thrill me, but again reminds me why I must do this now rather than wait until a) I'm bigger and feel like crap, or b) have a screaming newborn. As much as I'd love to wait I feel like I must do this now. It really is the only good time, and B definitely has to have his own room at some point. Honestly the thought of not having him at arm's length gives me tremendous anxiety - the very idea of him sleeping in an entirely different room! It's going to be an adjustment for both of us. But it's an important rite of passage so I need to just bite the bullet and do it. It will be the best thing, in the long run.
Appointment tomorrow, plus second blood draw for the NT scan. It's been twelve days since the first draw; they said if there were any concerns I would have heard within eight to ten business days. Could it be I've survived the next of the hurdles - the genetic testing? Next up - third trimester, and all the fun things that start developing there, and of course, The Birth. I've had a lot of fears lately, probably because I've been watching Call the Midwife. Luckily I finished season two last night so I can put all of that aside for a little while. No need to get all worked up now - there's plenty of time to get worked up later-!