tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2688810272914203813.post3537472669259634152..comments2023-05-27T02:45:24.476-07:00Comments on Chasing The Gerber Dragon: The Other Onewottadollhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16527435736562324563noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2688810272914203813.post-36615817684780125502013-04-02T18:12:10.872-07:002013-04-02T18:12:10.872-07:00I worry about the fighting also. My brother and I ...I worry about the fighting also. My brother and I fought horribly. I hated it. I think a lot of it had to do with unhealthy family dynamics and feeling like there wasn't enough love to go around. My parents did not have a good relationship. So my HOPE is that without that unhealthy dynamic, things will be better between my current child and my future, hoped for child.Abbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08856563547693346602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2688810272914203813.post-72912816365666202422013-04-02T13:50:50.826-07:002013-04-02T13:50:50.826-07:00I enjoyed reading your post a lot. It's true;...I enjoyed reading your post a lot. It's true; there is never a really good time to have a baby! I'm dealing with the same things; when will my career allow it, when will I be able to handle it, etc. I think the answer is that it will never happen. I just have to leave it up to fate to sort out in some respects.<br /><br />There are a couple of supplements that I can recommend. One is called Fertility Blend. It contains Vitex. The other, which I take, is called PMS Forte. It has the extra B-vitamins, as well as Vitex and other herbs to promote a healthy menstrual cycle. I used to take it for PMS and AF only, but now I take it all month. During my first IUI cycle, I will probably switch, because it's contraindicated in pregnancy. It can't hurt for now though. The Riveting Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03920776915429394231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2688810272914203813.post-9384214824797967402013-04-02T13:05:21.929-07:002013-04-02T13:05:21.929-07:00I think some of these depend on you and not just t...I think some of these depend on you and not just that you have a second child. You can't choose a child's temperament and even if everyone's children fight, you just won't know what your's will do till you're in it. Those are up in the air and could truly go either way but it is up to you if you will make less or more of a fuss over another baby's birthday and won't celebrate as full as the first or even fuller. Dividing your attention, time and resources will change things but so can you. Gillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12231416156357445330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2688810272914203813.post-12628981388831549712013-04-02T12:49:47.721-07:002013-04-02T12:49:47.721-07:00I think part of the issue is that the second child...I think part of the issue is that the second child is seen through the lens of knowing the first child (by parent/s, family members, teachers, etc.). I firmly believe that it isn't that the child is expected to be like the first, but is automatically compared to the first as a mostly cognitive function. <br /><br />I also think that you are not destined to have a high demand second baby if your first is not (I wonder if part of that is that the demands of the second seem like more because you also have to meet the demands of the first??). While a lot of that is temperament, a lot of it is also parenting interaction. But I do think it is realistic to remember how different children are (my two could not be a better illustration of that, lol). But some of your expectations and parenting practices will work and you will have the confidence of knowing that you can keep a baby alive and well. :)<br /><br />I am not looking forward to the sibling rivalry. My brother and I fought like crazy. I could never figure out why it bothered my parents so much - it had nothing to do with them. Then once I was around fighting children as an adult, I finally got it. I am not sure there is much that can be done about this, except creating opportunities and space for them to be apart and modeling less confrontational ways to deal with conflict. <br /><br />Hope the early waking and nightmares go away soon (I miss sleep so much...). And I love that pic of B.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07341444268342551783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2688810272914203813.post-31513005695649686132013-04-02T10:30:29.356-07:002013-04-02T10:30:29.356-07:00I read a study once & I wish I could remember ...I read a study once & I wish I could remember the source but the jist was that parents unconsciously favour their 1st born child but I'm sure you can find studies that claim parents favour their youngest child. The fact that you're thinking about these things tells me that you're going to make a conscious effort to be fair.<br /><br />Regarding the 1st birthday party, IMO, you should make a big deal. Sure they don't get a baby shower & you're more easy going since you have experience but stuff like that, I think it's important to make a big deal so the child doesn't feel like their less deserving. & big deal doesn't have to be expensive...this coming from a 2nd child who grew up in her brother's shadow ;)Tiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17511522028218347560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2688810272914203813.post-43553871899328869252013-04-02T09:55:28.235-07:002013-04-02T09:55:28.235-07:00I've been thinking about this a lot too, since...I've been thinking about this a lot too, since I'm trying to set a timeline for adopting #2.<br /><br />One of my favorite scenes from the Simpsons is where the family is looking at Bart and Lisa's baby books. Bart's contains pages upon pages of glorious detail, while Lisa's contains one sentence: "Lisa was born and is now in the second grade."<br /><br />I think it's natural that there will be less fanfare surrounding a second baby, but I don't think you should go into it expecting yourself to be too tired to celebrate. Money and time will be tighter, for sure, but that doesn't mean it won't happen at all.<br /><br />I also hear the second baby warning as well, especially since Felix is so easy. But I figure as long as I have one easy kid, I can do it. And once our boys are old enough to talk about having a sibling and get excited with us, I think it'll be more encouraging. We won't feel like we're betraying our precious babies by bringing another one into the family.<br /><br />crichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13984916476747915242noreply@blogger.com