I had a lot of anxiety all weekend, and was starting to beat myself up about it, until I remembered my circumstances - leaving two small children behind, but also having to learn several new songs in just a matter of days and with only one run through before performing them live in front of a very sophisticated and discerning audience - well, that would make any rational person anxious.
So, unsure of how I would sound, I took to my usual tactic of "I may not sound right but I can at least look right". So, if you will permit me, here are my looks for our three performances:
...and finally Sunday night, the dress I lost weight for.
I got to have good quality time with my bandleader, much needed, and even met with a local SMBC and blog reader (hi!).
The BF spent the weekend running the kids ragged with the babysitter and sent me videos every day which I watched obsessively.
I came home to a bit of a chaotic mess - the BF had left the hot tub heater on, which meant that when pool mode kicked in each day, the pool heated up, to a balmy 96 degrees. The pool was also running continuously all weekend (supposed to be just a few hours a day). Both of those things are going to cost a fucking fortune when my gas and electric bills come up this month. Also my back yard shed door was swinging wide open, which is never a good thing. The house was a bit of a mess, even though the sitter is really good about washing dishes, emptying garbage, etc - I walked in at 9 pm and the kids were running around and she was cleaning up and talking a mile a minute and Bobby pushed Theo off a chair and the BF barked at him to apologize and the pool was running and ughhhh...I just wanted to get back on the plane!
Ain't no happiness nowhere.
Things were looking up until this morning when a giant waterbug crawled up my arm in the bathroom. I screamed like a lunatic and then had the fun of trying to kill & dispose of it. I have seen way too many of those fucking things in the last year and that is totally unacceptable. I spent tonight clogging every hole in the bathroom with spackle. Please tell me this will keep those bastards in the walls where they belong.
Now I try to focus back on normal life for two weeks until it's time to leave for Korea. Well, heck, since the pool's already heated up I may just jump in tomorrow. Fuck it.