I can't tell you what B being at school every day has done for me. It's just so much easier to get things done around here (and January is a very busy tax and work time for me, so there's a lot to do) and makes the time I do spend with both boys much more enjoyable. We had a really nice time on the holiday Monday at a free museum day which normally, between the crowds and the parking and general stress, would have made me want to strangle everyone.
The boys are playing together much better these days. Theo hugs his brother a lot, Bobby tells Theo he loves him, and seems to finally have grasped the concept of making sure his brother has a toy, too, not pushing or kicking him, etc. I know they'll always fight and get annoyed by each other, but as long as they seem to have a core base of love there, that's all I care about. I'm starting to feel better about moving them into the same room in a few weeks.
Speaking of which, I am waiting for my event registration to open Feb 1st before committing to the renovations that need to be done to move the boys in together - hardwood flooring, replastering of ceiling, paint, light fixtures, etc. I just want to make sure I have the money for all that. Theo is in no danger of hopping out of his crib so he's still safe upstairs in the attic, and I'm in no hurry otherwise.
The Boyfriend and I hit six months together a few days ago. I am also hesitant to do the renovations because part of it entails buying a new, larger bed, and I don't want this to signal to him that it's time to move in. I'm just not ready for that. Last week I had a bit of a freak out picturing a long term commitment with this man - he just kind of doesn't have his shit together, and right now as we're only dating I don't have to worry about it because his problems are no concern of mine. Will he get his shit together? This is the big question. I just don't know. But then I reminded myself that I don't have to do anything I don't want to - I don't have to invite him to share this house with me, I don't have to marry him if he asks. Of course if he wants those things and I don't, eventually things will come to a head. But not yet. I'm going to enjoy this dating time while I can and try not to worry about the future for now.
Ok, I mean this in the kindest way possible... going to repeat back to you what you said, "I'm hesitant to do the renovations because it means I get a new bed and I don't want the boyfriend to think he can move in because he's not got his shit together and as long as we are just dating, his shit isn't my issue but once we get married, it's my problem too."
ReplyDeleteThere's like, a lot of distance between renovations and getting hitched to Boyfriend's shit.
Just sayin'. In a loving way.
Also, you have only been together six months! I think you said that this is a long time by your standards but six months is not a long time! Two years seems like a more reasonable time to consider marriage. What if you just table the discussion (or your own worryings) until the two year mark?
Given that you already have already taken care of childbearing, there's no rush! Enjoy this, sans agenda. No need to move the ball down the field.
But do get the bed you want! Or do the renovations but DON'T get the bed. You don't have to get the bed right away.
Congratulations on completing day training! C still wears a diaper at night (but thankfully does not poop in it) at nearly four and a half, so it doesn't necessarily happen quickly. Though I'm surprised he poops while he is sleeping. That's unusual at his age. I might mention it to the ped at your next visit. And try taking the diaper off as soon as he wakes up and see if that solves the problem. (Of course, if he will only poop in a diaper, that doesn't solve the problem.)