Saturday, June 27, 2015

The dark side

Sometimes dating is going on a second date with someone you really like, groping each other all night, and having them slide their hands up your skirt on the street and loving it.

Sometimes dating is waiting all night for someone, starving because you didn't have dinner, then going home and grimly eating ramen noodles at midnight because they never showed.

That was my night last night. So we've hit a new first and all-time low. I have now been stood up. 

This guy who I had not met before said he'd come meet me to hear this band. He lives pretty far and it was Friday during rush hour, so on our way we were texting to check progress. And then at some point he just stopped answering me, and then never showed up. I can only guess he got fed up with the traffic and turned around and went home. But to not just say, "not going to make it in time, how about another night?" How fucking hard is that? I texted him, "well, I've never been stood up before. That was awesome." And went home and went to bed. Thank God this was something I was going to go to anyway, and all my friends were there so I had company. Had I been sitting alone in a restaurant I think I would have lost my shit. The depths people sink to while dating never cease to amaze me. 

Speaking of which, since I was already feeling shitty, I texted GAM on the way home, "well, it was nice knowing you." It's twelve hours later and nothing. Can you believe this shit?

I figure I'll give it until tonight and then one final text to tell him how disappointed I am and how I expected better than this. I believe it's important to call people on this kind of bullshit, because it is not acceptable. You don't get to feverishly make out with someone, make all kinds of plans, talk for hours on the phone, and then disappear without so much as a "this is too much for me right now" or "I'm sorry but I'm just not feeling it". The one time I got to tell this guy some years ago as he dumped me that I felt like he was emotionally unavailable, had wasted my time and toyed with me, and that he made me feel shitty and unloved, made me feel great. 

I won't be ignored, Dan!

Not answering someone before you've even met, or after one or two dates in which there's been little or no physical contact I believe is ok. In those cases I'd rather be left wondering than told "I decided I just don't find you that attractive." But once there's been full make out sessions and plans made and discussions about being in a relationship - yeah, you need to talk to the person if you're about to bow out. That's just common courtesy.

So, yeah. Definitely not a good couple of days for me. I meet a new guy tomorrow, then a second date on Tuesday, maybe another new guy later in the week. But that's it. No other prospects. Not sure if this dating thing has become played out. We'll see. Pretty deflated at the moment, though.


  1. Super Shitty! Sorry to hear the frustrations :( unfortunately it's part of the game.. when you tire.. you take a break.. once you recharge you engage. Eventually you get a match that has legs. I've seen it and experienced it. It takes many attempts and it can be very disheartening. But when you find one that fits, it can be so very great. I just got re-married in March, and a month later after one month of 'trying' at age 38, find myself pregnant with my 3rd child. Life is good, so much better than I ever imagined it could truthfully. It can happen for you.. I feel it. Your honest, passionate, and colourful approach to life will yield the same in time. <3 Sabrina

  2. Sorry GAM turned out to be such an idiot - and that yesterday's guy stood you up. I hope the next week brings better stuff! Shrug it off if you can, and keep on moving.

  3. Ew. This only reinforces the conclusion I drew from my own dating experiences... the dating game is NOT FOR ME! I either meet someone in some natural way (while working or doing something I'm already doing) or I'll just stay single! But good for you for truckin' on and going after what you want.