Life is a pop of the cherry...when you're a boy
Speaking of which, Grown Ass Man and I have been exchanging lascivious texts after the respective children go to bed. I am attempting to get him over to the house next weekend for various adult activities, but it's his daughter's birthday so it may not happen. I feel like we're teenagers trying to find places to furtively grope each other. How, exactly, does one do this with children in the house???
I can't go to his place unless I want to spend a small fortune on babysitters, and having him here runs the risk of one or both waking up. And there's never a time when I don't have at least one of the kids, with my weekday babysitter now out of commission for several months. To say it's complicated is an understatement. I guess married people manage to get it on with a variety of willing relatives as babysitters and door locks. I at least have the door locks.
But there are other things at play, too. I mean, we're online daters. At what point do we have the talk about not seeing other people? At what point do we take our profiles down and trust that the other person is being honorable about it?
At what point can you feel safe that this person isn't going to dump you? The sad answer to that is...never. I've always said a person can decide after one date or thirty years of marriage that they're just not that into you. And there isn't a damned thing you can do about it. This guy's wife left him for another man, and then that relationship fizzled after just three months. Which furthers my opinion that relationships suck. Well, a lot of the time. We all hope we'll be that one who lucks out and finds a good person and you'll just be happy forever and it will all work out. But very few people actually get that. What makes me think I will?
I haven't decided if keeping these two other guys on the side for now is smart or shitty. There's no guarantee that I will see either of them (one for the first time, one for a second time) once I get back from my trip next week; part of me wants to message them both and tell them they're great but I'm kind of seeing someone, but then another part of me is like, I don't see no rings on these fingers. He hasn't asked me to be exclusive and we've only been on two dates and shit, I barely know this person. And yet I'm trying to figure out how to sleep with this person I barely know which I guess raises a lot of questions right there.
Anyway, Grown Ass Man's 48th birthday is tomorrow which means he will be even more grown-ass. And I'll be on a plane to NY to sing at Lincoln Center. Honestly I'm so wrapped up in my head about this stuff that the timing couldn't be better for a little palate-cleansing trip!