Thursday, January 29, 2015

Ding, dong, the witch is what?

Pretty much nothing has happened for the past week except this predator sex scandal in my dance community. It's all anyone can think about, talk about, post about, or email about. Including me. 

Can I just say how glad I am my event isn't until September??? There's a lot of overkill and hysteria right now (and subsequent people being mad that I'm using the word "hysteria") and I'm so glad I won't have to deal with this in any real world way for many months. 

People are so raw right now that nobody is thinking clearly or being practical. Lots of graduate students are throwing around lots of long words. Suddenly everyone who dips you on the dance floor is a dangerous sexual predator. People think it's a good idea to stop every dance right in the middle, bring up the lights, and give a long lecture on rape culture and sexual harassment. When I say this is ridiculous, I'm accused of "minimizing". So, yes, as per usual, I'm the asshole. Pleased to meet you, won't you guess my name?

Anyway. Coming from a religion that thought it could fix everything (sickness, the weather, death), I well understand the human need to make sense of things and try to fix it. But what nobody wants to admit is...there is zero solution here. As much as I truly believe this is an isolated incident - one very disturbed man's sick impulse to have sex with every vulnerable young girl he could whether she wanted to or not - there will always be star-struck young girls, and there will always be men in power who use that power to have sex with them.

The good news is you always get a vibe from these guys. I years ago had a male teacher who couldn't hold his liquor and started hitting on some young men, or at least making lascivious comments while I was in earshot, and I thought, "that guy is a liability" and never hired him again...nor has anyone else. It's not rocket science, people.

So yes, as business owners we need to have a policy in place, and as the women leaders we need to stand up and make ourselves clear as women who will listen and believe you and take action if you feel unsafe or have had a traumatic experience. I can do all that. Beyond that...y'all need to look out for yourselves, or your minors. 

Nobody wants to hear this - everyone wants us event organizers to bear the entire burden and fix it; but it's not our problem alone to fix (and I still maintain it's no longer a problem at all - I mean, ding dong, the witch is dead, let's all keep our eyes open and move on, you know?).

One thing nobody wants to talk about is everybody needs to stop getting drunk at events. But, that's my being impractical. I'm savvy enough to recognize that's never going to happen.

In other news, I need to open for registration on Sunday and one of the price points is malfunctioning and the guy who can fix it isn't answering any of my emails, Theo is teething like a motherfucker, and my gas bill for the month is $200. Awesome.

1 comment:

  1. Ugh, I hope things blow over by the time your event rolls around. I think I get what you're saying about this issue doesn't have a solution. It WILL always happen. But I think we can take steps to do our best to minimize the chances, if that makes sense. Like not hiring the guy you no longer hire, posting on your site the rules of conduct, etc. All the things you're already doing. So, yeah, there's not much more you can do, I don't think.