Saturday, December 6, 2014

Can't argue with crazy in follow up to yesterday's post, I didn't answer my mother's email (honestly haven't had the time) but my sister did, telling her we're all worried and wish she would come home and get medical treatment and save her life.

Well! My mother lashed out at her, telling her she's controlling and going on and on about how great her religion is and how whatever she has can't be helped by medicine anyway (although she's never seen a doctor so she's just guessing)...the whole email was pretty hateful. I felt bad for my sister. I know she had hoped that maybe something could be accomplished here. But no - my mother is still clinging to this craziness. And she's being pretty mean about it, too. Well, that makes my position a little easier to take - just a quick polite acknowledgement and we're done. There's no arguing with crazy.

I know many people who have to deal with mentally ill relatives or ones with personality disorders or ones who are just plain shitty people. It's exhausting and upsetting and makes you feel guilty even when there's nothing to feel guilty about. I feel extremely lucky that the two crazy people in my life - my mother and father - are both far, far away and easy to avoid. If I lived near these people and had to have them in my life, and especially now the boys' lives, I would drive off a cliff. 

In other news, saw The Imitation Game today; it was good. Going to attempt to keep the boys up way past their bedtime to go see some Christmas lights tomorrow. Fingers crossed that isn't a disaster!


  1. Ugh, I'm so sorry for that whole situation with your mom. I wish I had something more I could say.

  2. Yuck. I'm sorry; I wish there'd been a different outcome. But you couldn't be more right about how exhausting and upsetting dealing with family members with mental illness is... (I visited my sister in the hospital yesterday...ugh!).

    Good luck with the Christmas lights! I hope the experience for the kids makes any crankiness worth it!

  3. Man, I'm sorry. My dad (lifelong alcoholoic) wasn't really in my life when I was a kid but I reconnected for his last 15 years and though I was able to help him, I had to set firm limits so he didn't take advantage of me and so I wouldn't feel bad about our interactions. I found that sharing affection and kindness in a very careful and thought out way worked well for me, but now, he never was remotely the type of father or grandfather I would hope for. It's just sad.

  4. I get this. I really do. My mom refuses treatment for her mental illness. It's been a long , bumpy ride. I'm sorry you have to go through this.