When we were getting ready this morning T spit up all over the kitchen floor and then crawled in it, and
Some asshole on the 118 mouthed "bitch" at me as I passed him (what the hell is wrong with people??? I gave him a "what the fuck is your problem?" stare down as I passed), and
Bumpus had multiple screaming meltdowns all day; much of the day was spent with Theo lunging unhappily in the Ergo while I tried to steer the stubborn double stroller with one hand while dragging a screaming Bumpus by his arm through the hay with the other, and
I went as part of a new meetup group and yet never was able to connect with anyone, so spent the day alone, and
I had to spend $30 for entrance fees when I thought it was going to be $3, and
I had the unpleasantness of trying to explain to a two-year-old that yes, I know you want to go on that train ride "right now!!!", but you have to get back in the stroller so we can go all the way across the farm to buy tickets to then come back and ride the train (note to self: fucking buy long strip of tickets before your kid sees anything they want to do), and
I had to several times at the sand box jump up and tell B to stop grabbing other people's pumpkins and kicking them, while holding Theo on my boob, and
I had to endure yet another in a series of bitchy grandmothers reprimanding my son because he wouldn't immediately let her grandkid have something he just started playing with just because they wanted it right now, and
I could not, for the life of me, remember where we parked, so was stuck with 17 pound space heater on my chest (Theo) and awkward, difficult to steer double stroller in the uneven dirt for ages in the hot sun going up and down aisles looking for our car, and
Both kids screamed and whined the entire 1 1/2 hour ride home...yes! Despite all this, believe it or not, we still had a great time! We picked out pumpkins, Bobby got to go on a train and in the jump house which would have been impossible last year, I got cute pictures, and one woman took one look at me with my toddler and baby and said, "girl, you frigging rock." And watching all the very pregnant women chase their toddlers around, I thought, man, am I glad that's not me anymore!!!
Many times today I thought how much easier this would be with a partner. Having two children instead of one has really brought this issue home for me, and it sucks, and I hate, hate, hate admitting it. But there's no denying it. Putting aside the "guys never help anyway" argument, let's assume they do help, even a little. Days like this would be 10,000 times easier, and more fun, with a partner. There, I said it. Being a single parent of two little kids is fucking brutal. It takes every ounce of physical, mental, and emotional strength I have to get through it. But you do get through it, and all parents struggle, and all parents understand that outings like this, holidays, and vacations, are not for you to enjoy right now. They're for your kids to enjoy. And somehow right now I'm ok with that.