Thursday, October 9, 2014


So I spent all last weekend bitterly "watching" all my friends and my band playing and enjoying a fun dance event in New Orleans via Facebook. Contrary to what I had originally thought when I stopped touring with my band, the traveling offers are not in fact drying up, they are multiplying. We have used a few local singers to fill in for me. And I expected to stay off the road for years, maybe permanently. But Abby's suggestion that I find someone to keep the kids home during my next event really made me start thinking...maybe I can start leaving the kids for a weekend here and there. Maybe I need it for my sanity. And maybe it's not such a bad thing to have someone, or a couple of people, I can trust with the 24-hour care of my two kids for a couple of days. Once I'm no longer breastfeeding - which is only months away now - really, why not?

Ideally I would like my San Diego babysitter for this, but she's not always available (and my prediction is she will be pregnant again in a few months and no longer able to sit for me), so I hit up a friend's nanny who is one of these gal Friday types who's always available for long term or short term personal assisting/babysitting/whatever jobs (God bless these people). She came by yesterday to meet the kids and get the general lay of the house, since I am going to use her for an all day-into night gig in Santa Barbara next Tuesday. I was going to pass on the gig entirely - I get kind of weird and control-y about being the one to feed the kids dinner and put them to bed - but this gig pays $450 so I'd be an idiot not to do it. And besides...wouldn't it be nice to let someone else have the frustrating job known as feeding a two-year-old dinner for once? Also, I'm considering this an audition for any possible weekend gigs - including next year's event. 

I told my bandleader to consider me "in" for 2015. Our first thing is a pretty prestigious gig in DC around the time I will probably want to wean T (April). I don't know if these promoters, spoiled by two years of not having to pay for me, will be willing to have me back on board. There may not be anything for me, after all this. But the possibility of it makes me giddy. 

And then there's the kids. Leaving them for two nights doesn't thrill me - but I have to say, being as I spend all day, day and night, as their sole caretaker, I kind of don't feel that bad about it, either. There's Skype, there's FaceTime on phones. And it's two nights, not a week. I think having trips like this to look forward to every few months could really boost my general outlook on life. I would probably break even or lose money doing it, but...who cares? Free trip! Sleep all night! No poopy diapers! No negotiating food/shoes/teeth brushing! Getting to hang out with sardonic jazz musicians, wear awesome vintage outfits, and dance? Yes, please!

Here is Bobby holding one of my all-time favorite books. That's my feminist boy!


  1. DO. IT. Run, don't walk. They will do great, and even if they don' deserve it and you will be a better mama for having the break!

    Hope Gal Friday does great on the try out and you are able to look ahead to the DC gig :)

  2. As long as the trips aren't going to cause you more stress you absolutely must go! There is nothing wrong with taking a few nights every couple of months. The separation will do you all well!