Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I pissed myself, and other news

So I pissed myself last weekend. I went to a very nice Smc meeting at a park, and after a few hours took B to the bathroom to change his diaper. Somehow just the sight of a toilet signaled to my body that it was time to pee. And it didn't seem to care that I still had my pants on. Oh, it was awful. I felt it coming and tried frantically to undo the way too tight and complicated apparatus of my jeans, but I just managed to unload a full bladder all down my pants, right to my knees. And I couldn't stop it. I'd had little trickles here and there before, but nothing like this. All I could do was go ahead and change B's diaper, hot foot it in my soaking wet pants to the car that was a long walk away, in front of tons of people, corral two kids into their carseats which takes forever, sit on a baby blanket to save my car seat, and text the people from the meeting that I'd pissed myself and had to make a quick exit. Oh, the joys of post partum-!

In other news, have been kicking ass in the "keeping busy" department. Arranging things for us to do morning and afternoon has been a full time job - but is worth it, since we get home right before dinner and no whiny bored afternoon misery. I keep a list on my phone of places we can go and people who have expressed an interest in getting together for play dates. I've decided to approach this whole toddler thing like a job - as if I were a nanny. Those nannies have their shit together - toys labeled, other nanny friends they meet up with at specific times and days, varied activities for the kids to keep them stimulated. If they can do it, I can do it.

I met up with friends today who gave me two interesting ideas. They said they were able to get their two-year-old into a Head Start program, which is basically free pre-school. Maybe I've been approaching this thing all wrong. I looked up the system online and it is very confusing...but I'm going to pursue it and try to apply. All they can do is turn me down, right? At least it's not connected to Medi Cal!!!

They also talked about going to Hawaii in July, which is something we tried to do together some years ago but one or the other of us was always pregnant. I have free miles burning a hole in my pocket and can get a free stay at a fabulous Marriott there (unless I can get into their timeshare which is a possibility). It would be so great to do a trip like that with another couple with the same aged kids! I shudder at the thought of braving that flight alone with a baby and a toddler, but I could do it. Not being pregnant would help, and having help once I get there would be huge. It's also over my birthday week. So fingers crossed I can pull that off! Mama needs something to look forward to!


  1. You're hilarious! If I ever pee myself I hope I handle it with as much aplomb and humor as you did. The joys of mother hood!

  2. I have been lucky not to pee myself because I've had some pretty close near misses! It seems I have the same size bladder I always did so I get all cocky that I can hold it for as long...but the thing is, I don't have the same muscle control!! So the right comination of waiting too long & a well timed sneeze or cough & I am done for!!

    I just used my miles to book a trip to Hawaii in February!! So if things don't work out for you in July, you can always join us in February!!

  3. Omg, haha sorry I'm having a great laugh at your expense!

  4. Best blog post title by a mile! :) Hope Hawaii works out for you. How lovely that could be!

  5. I'm so glad you had such humor when you pissed yourself. I would've been flat-out mortified, and may well have cried. Makes me want to put a change of clothes for ME in the diaper bag!!

    I hope you get to go to Hawaii. I'd be SO jealous, though! Never been, and would love to go, much as I hate wearing bathing suits...

  6. Oh yuck!

    Hope you make it to Hawaii! And I really hope there are no more pee accidents in your future...unless it's from one of your boys. LOL