Wednesday, April 2, 2014

I Didn't

Just for my own (and hopefully someone else's) entertainment, since I have found myself recounting the story of "all the things that could have gone wrong, but didn't" about the pregnancy/birth to so many friends lately, I thought I would write it out. It's quite amazing when you look at it, and I hope will give some succor to anyone reading who is experiencing anxiety about their upcoming pregnancy/birth.

I didn't have a chemical pregnancy
I didn't ever have an ultrasound in which I was told, "I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat"
I didn't find any problems in any genetic tests
I didn't get cut down by debilitating nausea
I didn't get put on bed rest
I didn't miscarry
I didn't go into pre-term labor
I didn't have a preemie at any time
I didn't go too late and have to be induced
I didn't trip and fall and suffer placental abruption
I didn't have any bleeding that actually meant anything
I didn't get an infection that jeopardized the baby
I didn't gain tons of weight
I didn't hurt myself or the baby while caring for my heavy two-year-old
I didn't get in a car accident
I didn't develop gestational diabetes, HELLP syndrome, pre-eclampsia, cholestasis, or PUPPS
I didn't have incompetent cervix and have to have a cerclage
I didn't have to have an emergency c section
I didn't have to have a planned c section
I didn't hemorrhage and have to have a blood transfusion
I didn't get stuck delivering at home, in the car, in an ambulance, or at some random ER
I didn't get stuck panicking over child care while in labor
I didn't end up delivering alone because the doula didn't make it
I didn't have prodromal labor for days or weeks
I didn't have to drag some well-meaning friend out of bed in the middle of the night to drive me to the hospital
I didn't have my water break somewhere inconvenient
I didn't go into labor far from home or the hospital 
I didn't repeatedly get sent home from the hospital being told I was not in labor
I didn't get stuck on pitocin, magnesium, or any other unpleasant drug
I didn't throw up
I didn't snap at anybody and have to apologize later
I didn't have an epidural that went horribly wrong
I didn't have a baby in major distress during labor
I didn't have a baby that got stuck and had to be vacuumed out
I didn't majorly tear, I don't think - because -
I didn't ask
I didn't have a panic attack
I didn't find myself mentally or physically incapacitated after giving birth
I didn't have a weird/disappointing reunion with my older child, also re: the brothers meeting
I didn't have milk supply issues
I didn't have a baby with unexpected health issues
I didn't panic upon being left alone with two little kids
I didn't let the house go, stop showering, or putting on mascara
I didn't ever have the thought that a second child, or any children, was a terrible mistake 

So basically, so many of the fears I had simply did not come to fruition. Oh, except for the pooping. That happened. But pretty small compared to what could have happened, right?


  1. Great reflection! (I am wishing I didn't have so many of those things happen to me and the kids; but glad that is all the past!)

  2. Great list. It would be interesting to also make an "I DID" list, too.