Sunday, March 16, 2014


Shortly after I hit "publish" on last night's post, I got a call from the hospital. Much to my chagrin they had been trying to call me earlier in the day - I had missed a couple of calls from an "unknown" number and there were no voicemails, so I assumed it was a friend of mine who always pops up as "unknown" on my phone. Anyway, Theo apparently threw up a bunch of dark green fluid and they were concerned - they had brought in the surgical team to run some x rays and make sure it wasn't a bowel blockage/reversed intestine-type issue, and of course ran all other kinds of tests as well. They said they would get back to me. My sister and I then pretended to watch Dateline while I waited for the return call - finally I decided to just head in. I just had to see him and hold him, you know?

So I went in. He was, of course, fine, but they wouldn't let me breastfed him; he was on Pedialyte. And unfortunately this new development meant he would not be coming home today - and probably not tomorrow, either. Ughhhh.

At this point I did feel a bit of despair. Even when you know they're probably ok, it's hard to see your fragile little newborn all hooked up to wires; all I could think when I looked into that sweet little face was that he needs to be home with his family. The nurses are lovely but they can't attend to every baby like a mother would - he would get hysterical crying whenever his paci fell out or he was cold or hungry; it would never get to the point of hysteria with me because I'm the mom. I hate to think the first week of his life is going to be in a clinical environment like that. A couple of days I was ok it looks like this could just drag on and on. 

I went in this AM and he had been doing well - once again, all tests clear. His rapid breathing seems to be settling down, too. But the whole thing just makes me nervous as hell - it's great that nothing is technically wrong with him, but it doesn't give me much confidence when nobody has a theory as to why he was struggling to breathe and why he suddenly threw up dark green liquid. What happens when I get him home and he does that...?

They have him on food now (my expressed milk, which I was able to pump this morning) and want to watch him at least 24 hours to make sure he's processing the food properly. I will just keep visiting him in the mornings and evenings until he comes home, which I hope hope hope will be Tuesday. The sitter can watch B during these stints and I can entertain him during the day and get him to bed. 

My sister left today and I took B to Travel Town where he had his 1st birthday a year ago. He threw tantrums pretty much all day, but I took it in stride - it's been a confusing two weeks for the little guy. A lot going on and he and I not interacting much which I'm sure affects him. I am looking forward to reconnecting with him over the next couple of days, and making sure I get good solid sleep before T makes his home debut.

On the physical side, my belly has shrunk considerably today - I'm working on a 5 month pregnant belly instead of a 7 month pregnant belly; I'm down to about 151 lbs (from about 165); and I have graduated to normal maxi pads and real underwear. I still hurt a bit and am definitely far from 100% but I will say the physical recovery this time is a lot easier. Or, again, maybe I'm so distracted by everything that's going on that I don't have much time to think about my v-jay.


  1. Oh, I am so sorry to read about Baby T! But, he is where he needs to be right now so that he is healthy when he comes home. Glad you are healing well and are able to chase a toddler.

  2. I'm so sorry he isn't home with you! I hope the next 24 hours go smoothly and you can put it all behind you.

  3. I'm sorry Theo has had to stay in the NICU. Hopefully he won't have anymore incidents and he'll be home soon.

  4. Oh how tough!!! I can't believe how well you are handling it all, actually. You seem like you are taking it all in stride!

    If you want to, press them for a reason as to why you can't breastfeed. They can weigh him before and after to determine how much he got. Babies can safely breastfeed before they can safely bottle feed (with preemies). I just think that skin to skin will be good for both of you.

    Hope the time flies by and he's home and safe before you know it!

  5. Oh boy, I know that feeling (but I didn't have to divide my time between a toddler at home and a baby in the NICU). I hope that things continue to look good and he can come home soon. I wish I wasn't so far away, so I could help keep an eye on B when you need to be with T. :(

  6. You say it so well, "it's great that nothing is technically wrong with him, but it doesn't give me much confidence when nobody has a theory as to why he was struggling to breathe and why he suddenly threw up dark green liquid." It's like you're worried sick but not sure why & not having answers must be so frustrating & scary. Hoping you get T home with you soon.