Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Still nope

Not much to report around here but I don't want my lack of blogging to be misinterpreted as birth taking place. Had a very good NST yesterday and was once again sent home with my hospital bag on my shoulder. And after some major anxiety have reconciled myself to a few points.

One, the baby will come when he wants. I would still like to talk about the benefits vs risks of induction if I pass 41 weeks with my midwife at my next appointment Thurs, but I am trying to take in stride the fact that we may just be headed for a late delivery. I feel ok - not being nauseated makes the sun come out and the birds sing, so I can handle every day life again; I'm definitely not "so miserable" that I want to force the baby out. I'm still carrying that 30 lb toddler up three flights of stairs, still driving, still loading the dishwasher, cooking, and doing laundry. So, I can function. That's all I ask.

My sister is leaving Sunday which means I am most likely on my own for labor and postpartum. I did talk to my babysitter about helping during the postpartum period - just a few hours here and there so I can rest, which seems to be a possibility. I can always hire a postpartum doula as well although I'd rather it be someone B is comfortable with since I mainly need someone to help entertain him. So yes, it absolutely sucks that I wasted all my sister's available time now and she'll have to leave before anything even happens. But what can you do? This is life and I'm just going to have to deal. Last time I was thrown into the frying pan all alone with a newborn and I did it. At least this time I know what to expect and am emotionally prepared. We are all stronger than we know. 

Birth is a solo experience no matter how many people are in that room with you. In the end it's just you birthing this new person who is not separate from you yet. It's you letting go and doing this incredibly primal thing - the most primal thing you have done since it was your turn to be born. It's the closest you'll ever be connected to the sun and the moon and the stars. All the support team / music playing / aromatherapy / cute birthing gowns are nice extras but really don't compare to the magnitude of the experience. So I'm going to put all the logistical concerns aside and just go with it, no matter what ends up transpiring.


  1. You sound so wise! I am very impressed. I hope I am half that calm and composed when it's (hopefully) my turn.

    I think hiring your babysitter makes a ton of sense, more the reasons you mention. I am planning to ask my nanny to help out, also, but since I know Calliope will want me, I plan to ask the nanny to help around the house. Assuming she's willing, it's much cheaper to pay a babysitter to empty the dishwasher than it is to pay a doula for the same. You already know how to take care of a baby so hopefully you won't need that sort of help.

    Good luck! I'm so excited for you!

  2. I agree, you do sound wise and calm. Thinking if you lots

  3. I'm SO happy your nausea is better!

    I plan a post on this at some point, but wanted to share with you now something I learned this time. If you can swing hiring someone to stay with you at night (if the baby is born after your sister leaves), especially those first few nights, you'll be amazed at how much it helps. I had someone stay with me the first 4 night after Z was born, and the extra sleep was SO wonderful. It made the days much easier.

  4. I'm sure everything will work out, one way or the other. Even if your sister is already gone when the baby comes, you'll be fine. And so will B and the baby. I like Shannon's idea of hiring someone at night, I could see that as being really helpful. I think the waiting is the worst part - whatever happens will be all good!